


Paint and Words

by Lovefushsia



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Alcohol, Almost Human AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blatant Flirting, Blow Jobs, Comforting, Cuddling, Dating, Face Painting, Falling In Love, Fancy Dress, Flirting, Fluff, Happy ending though, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Romance, Romantic Gestures, Separation, because I can't put these two through anything bad, because I wanted to make John uncomfortable, dorian reads a lot, john teaches preschool, robocop Dorian, with a nod to the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-03 16:38:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4107733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovefushsia/pseuds/Lovefushsia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Dorian meet in the park at lunchtime, where John is usually covered in paint and Dorian is always reading.</p><p>Author's note:<br/>AND... I'm done. <br/>I think. There might be an epilogue. But the story is complete :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The adrenaline started flowing as soon as John saw him - what was this, four, five days in a row now? Same bench, different book, different t-shirt. John had no idea what to do at this point. He had rounded this corner each day for the last year in his lunch hour, finally having enough staff to be able to leave Tiny Giants for an hour and wander around the park for some air. But it was only the past week that he had looked forward to it more than anything else in his day.

The guy was beautiful: his skin, his hands, the way he smiled as he flipped over pages, his lips…oh God, John was thinking like a teenager again. Besotted by a mystery book-reader in his lunch hour. John needed to get a grip and either speak to the guy or take his lunch somewhere else, his head was a mess. Come to think of it, he was mostly a mess today all over - painting in the morning with preschoolers was never going to make for a clean afternoon.

As John thought about maybe letting his ogling go by for today, the cute guy looked up directly at him. Eyes meeting; expressions changing. Crap. The guy’s eyes were the biggest John had ever seen - pure puppy dog eyes and John was lost in their blue depths. John’s eyes widened after a moment though and he immediately looked off to the trees as he kept walking, trying to keep control of his thumping heart by breathing in and out.

Then there was movement to John’s left as the guy stood up. “Hey,” the guy said, as John looked back to him.

He fought the urge to look around to see if there was anyone else Hot Guy might have been talking to, someone just behind John he was meeting? But the guy was moving towards him, smiling widely and oh, he was so cute.

“Um, hey,” he replied, and waited awkwardly for something else to happen.

“You, er, wanna join me here?” Hot Guy asked, motioning back to his bench.

John had no idea. Did he? Would they have to talk? What would he have to say? Would he be able to hold a conversation? “Yes,” his mouth supplied before his brain could agree. Hot Guy beamed, his eyes going crazily bright before he turned and went back to the bench, moving along to make room for John. John walked over and perched, awkwardly.

“I’ve seen you walking before, man, been meaning to talk to you but I couldn’t get up the nerve,” Hot Guy said, chuckling a little.

John looked at him in amazement. “You have?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“You’re always reading,” John said, and then screwed his eyes closed because it wasn’t what he had meant to say.

“Yeah, I am. I’m trying to get through as many as possible.”

John opened his eyes. “I’m John.” What the hell was wrong with him? That did not follow the line of conversation.

But Hot Guy didn’t seem to mind. “Dorian,” he told John, smiling widely and holding out his hand. John took it and they shook with a firm grasp that John belatedly realized was possibly paint-stained. “Do you read?”

“Not as much as I should, I teach pre-school,” John said, as if the two statements actually related. He didn’t read a lot because he preferred to paint whenever he could, despite the amount of time he spent covered in the stuff at Tiny Giants.

“Right, I wondered, with the…” Dorian began, as he motioned to John’s splattered shirt front.

John looked down at himself and then checked his hands which were surprisingly clean. “Things got a bit out of hand this morning,” he said, finally relaxing a little and smiling back at Dorian. “What do you read?” he asked.

“Almost anything - sci-fi, fantasy, the occasional romance. This,” he said, holding up his book so John could see. “This is actually depressing the hell out of me, and I think I’m going to have to stop.”

“What is it?” John asked, not wanting to take his eyes from Dorian’s face, but looking down to the cover briefly.

“Life and Death on K2.”

John looked for a second longer and then met Dorian’s eyes again. “The mountain? Do you climb?”

Dorian laughed again, despite the morbid book title. John loved that laugh. “No way man, my feet are firmly on the ground.”

“So, why the book?”

“It was a gift, from my aunt, who thinks I’m into… mountains I guess. Like I said, I’ll read pretty much anything. Doesn’t always work out so well though.”

“Is that why you were so easily distracted today?” John heard himself ask. They were sitting very close.

“By you, you mean?” John felt his face coloring. “You’ve been distracting me all week.”

John was not easily surprised anymore in life generally, he was consistently being surprised by Dorian though.   

“I’ve been struggling walking by you without stopping. Couldn’t exactly just sit down though with the other ten benches free.” John was also surprising himself by getting this many words out in a row. “So what was the last good book you read?” he asked.

“Oh man, no I can’t tell you that.” John raised his eyebrows, entranced by the easy way Dorian spoke to him. “It was about a cat ok, this creepy cat that… no,” he looked down, laughing and shaking his head. “I am not reliving that again.”

“I hate cats,” John admitted.

“You would have hated this book!”

John nodded. “Ok, so that’s a great couple of recommendations, thanks.” They smiled at each other, neither speaking again for a moment.

“John?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you eat dinner too?”

John smiled and sat back against the bench, stretching his legs out in front of him, feeling so blessed that Dorian had chosen to speak to him today.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John & Dorian go on a date.

Dorian met John at the gates to the park for their date. They had decided on another lunch, not dinner, mainly because they had their first conversation on a Friday, and Saturday lunch was closer than Saturday dinner.

Dorian was nervous, he couldn’t deny it. He had thrown on a favorite t-shirt but it made him look a bit younger than his thirty years. John was a teacher, clearly a little older than Dorian, Dorian should try to act a bit more mature... shouldn’t he?

He guessed actually that John must be ok with a bit of silliness, given his occupation, but what if he was looking for a more serious partner because he worked with kids all day long?

He threw on a denim shirt to cover some of the two Lego blocks cuddling. Well, at least he looked a little more like an adult, Dorian thought studying his reflection on the way out the door, even if he didn’t always act like one.

His heart was pounding as he walked up to the park gates. He took a second to stop and check his phone, just so he could take a deep breath and think about something other than his nerves. When he looked up again, John was there in front of him.

“Hi,” John said, smiling, and Dorian nearly dropped his phone.

“H-hi,” Dorian said, stuffing his phone into his back pocket. He was certain if he lunged in for the hug he wanted to give John it would be too forward. This was their second meeting, it wasn’t hugging territory just yet. So he stood there a little awkwardly as they looked at each other.

“How are you Dorian?” John asked. How was he this hot? His face was intense, like he carefully constructed each expression, but they just looked so natural. Those eyes were neither brown nor green, they were so beautiful.

“I’m really good now,” Dorian said, smiling. “It’s great to see you.” 

John smiled back raising an eyebrow briefly. “Less paint,” he said, motioning to his clothes.

“You look fucking hot John,” and Dorian couldn’t believe the words had escaped.

John smiled widely though. “Yeah? You too Dorian, every time I see you you look even cuter than before.”

Dorian’s cheeks heated.

They walked by the bench from yesterday, Dorian eyed it and then looked back to John who was giving him sidelong glances.

“How was your afternoon?” John asked.

“Good actually, I started on a new book, so thanks – if we hadn’t talked about it I’d still be struggling through that other one.”

“Do you always finish everything you start?” John asked, and Dorian nodded.

“When they’re worth it,” he answered.

They talked about Dorian’s new book, John’s crazy afternoon digging up carrots with the kids. John seemed to enjoy making Dorian laugh and Dorian was loving his company.

When they reached the cafe in the center of the park, John held open the door for Dorian who nodded and brushed John’s arm in a hopefully not too keen gesture on his way in.

Dorian spotted the table he usually occupied when it was raining. It was free so he led John over. It had the prettiest view over the bay and Dorian thought John might appreciate it - even though they both lived in the city, they'd both seen it a million times.

Once they had ordered, a little awkwardness returned between them. Dorian couldn’t get over how hot John was and it was distracting him from thinking of anything constructive to say. John was alternating long glances at Dorian with the view outside and each time their eyes met Dorian’s heart jumped a bit.

“So, where do you work?” John finally asked him.

“I don't actually, just part time table waiting, when I can get it. I’m at college, studying English.” He thought he saw a brief hint of doubt cross John’s features, so he quickly added, “I’m a mature student... never got around to it when I was younger.”

“Right, that’s great Dorian, you should be proud of yourself. Funding your own way through is harder work than you need.”

“Yeah, well as long as it leads somewhere in the end, that’s what counts.” Dorian’s family had always been hard working, he still felt guilty for not staying on at the family business, but he knew he had to graduate to get any self-satisfaction from life. “Do you enjoy teaching?”

“Oh yeah, I love it. I’m just a kid at heart, really, so I fit right in.”

“You certainly look as if you get stuck in,” Dorian said, remembering John’s messy shirt yesterday. “Do you use washable colors?”

John laughed. “Yes, although some things are beyond repair by the end of the day. I keep those for when I’m painting at home.”

“You’re an artist?” Dorian was quickly becoming amazed at the man’s interest in him.

“I’ve always liked to sketch, now I do a little water color, some oil painting.”

“I’d love to see some one day.”

John nodded and their eyes met again. “Sure, that’d be great Dorian,” he said softly.

They swapped numbers when they reached the gates again after their meal, Dorian wondering whether John would call him. He wasn’t used to dating and despite having made the first move between them, he was still nervous about what John thought of him.

***

John was so smitten it was unbelievable. He wandered back home thinking about Dorian the whole way. He could tell Dorian had been nervous but he hoped he had done enough to relax him a bit. He thought he had been the only nervous one yesterday, seemed they both had to work through it. It just made Dorian more attractive to John. A cute, kind of shy, obsessive reader who was actually interested in John? This was good.

John didn’t find himself sharing much with people, not his closest friends, definitely not new friends. So something about Dorian was bringing out a new side of John. 

He pulled out his phone as he nudged the door closed with his boot. Nothing. He blinked away any disappointment there might have been - first date, what could he expect? - and went into his kitchen to grab some water. 

John took his drink and pulled open the balcony doors, slouching into his favorite chair and letting the warmth of the remaining sun soak into him. His phone buzzed a moment later and John felt his heart leap to see Dorian’s message.

\- I forgot to ask you out again -

Oh God, he was beyond cute. When John closed his eyes Dorian’s beaming smile was right there. He would never be able to concentrate on anything again.   


	3. Chapter 3

Only the need for sleep kept John from asking Dorian to meet him on Sunday. They had arranged to speak about another date on Monday, on their lunch bench. Until then he had to contain himself.

They had exchanged a few more messages after their date on Saturday and then John had gone out for drinks with his colleagues. It was a semi-regular thing, to wind down together after the crazy week. But this time, John had only been thinking about Dorian and what he might be doing. He had been asked several times during the evening whether he was ok, why was he so quiet. He wasn’t ready to tell anyone yet, he drank a couple of beers and then made his excuses to leave early.

So on Sunday he got up late, drank a lot of water and went back to bed around 3pm after watching a couple of movies and being generally lazy. When he woke up it was dark and John was suddenly wide awake at the thought of those beautiful blue eyes and huge grin. He got up and did some housework, sorting things for his week at work and somehow he managed to feel sleepy again a while later. He dreamed of Dorian for the rest of the night.  

 

John spent Monday morning completely covered in flour. It hadn’t been his greatest idea to arrange making playdough when he was one staff member short. Three of them could usually manage to head off the worst of the chaos waiting to happen with a room full of three and four year olds, but not today. He considered rushing home to shower and change before he went to meet Dorian, but he didn’t want to risk missing him. He brushed his hands through his hair in the bathroom and coughed at the cloud of white that surrounded him. Water would probably make him look like a gloopy mess and so he patted his clothes off again and hoped Dorian really could see past his daytime appearance.

“Oh shit, what happened to you?” Dorian said, laughing instantly as John approached.

“Hey,” John said, smirking and pointing a finger at Dorian and admiring how damn hot he looked today. He was always going to look sleek and sexy, John just knew it, and John was destined to be forever the opposite. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Was it at least fun at the time?” Dorian asked.

“Oh yeah, the kids loved it,” John said, sitting down beside Dorian, just close enough to not be touching but to be damn frustrating that they weren’t. “I’ll be scraping playdough off the tables all afternoon.” He smiled as Dorian laughed at him again.

“How was the rest of your weekend, John?”

“I did a lot of sleeping.” _I wish you’d been there_. “Did some planning for this week, regretting some of it right now, obviously. How was yours?”

“I met a friend Sunday, did some reading,” Dorian held up his book with a grin, John was pretty sure it was different yet again. “I wanted to call you,” Dorian added, before running a hand over his perfect hair. “I thought about you a lot, man.”

John couldn’t help smiling again. “Can I cook you dinner?” he asked impulsively.

Dorian’s face would light up John’s worst mood he was certain of it.

“Yeah... I’d really love that.”

***

John’s apartment was only a few blocks away from Dorian’s. Dorian was glad of it as he walked along in the still too warm early evening sunshine, he wanted to get somewhere cool, mostly he wanted to be in the same place as John.  

He had picked up a bottle of wine and some cookies on his way here. It wasn’t perfect but he loved cookies, might as well see if they shared a love of naughty food.

He was starting to sweat a little, not just from the heat as he stepped up to John’s front door. He took a deep breath before ringing and tried to relax himself by blowing out air through his lips. Just as he was mid lip-wobble John’s voice came through the intercom. “Shit, um, hi, John? It’s me... Dorian. Um, did you hear that?” He was about ready to die from embarrassment if John had heard him.

John laughed. “You blowing raspberries at me? Yeah, I heard you Dorian. Come up here, the door’s open.”

Dorian slumped his shoulders and pushed open the door. He was such a doofus, acting like a kid whilst trying to make an impression. He kept berating himself as he walked up the stairs to John’s door. He pushed at it and peered inside giving a low whistle as he saw John’s pristine home.

John put his head around the corner of the kitchen and smiled. “Hey, come on in, are you ready to eat? Kebabs are on the grill and salad is ready.”

“Sounds amazing, John.” He was looking so fine in a black tank top and loose cut off sweatpants, Dorian wanted to do way more than go in for a hug this time. He tried to look away as John led him out to his balcony but Dorian’s eyes just seemed to hone in on John’s every beautiful movement and _man_ there was a lot of skin on show right now. John always wore a button down for work, similar on their lunch date. But tonight, Dorian was in heaven - the tight shirt revealed an intricate dragon tattoo on John’s right bicep, a scar on his left shoulder and a chain around his neck. Dorian wanted to find out what was on it. “John...” Dorian all but choked on his name this time. Shit, how was he supposed to get through an evening with this man, alone for the first time?

John turned back to him and Dorian had to swallow hard. “What is it, Dorian?”

“Uh... nothing, it’s just... I keep saying it I know, but I can’t handle how hot you are - I can’t concentrate when you’re in jeans and a shirt, but _this_... oh fuck...” Dorian breathed.

John just stared wide eyed for a moment and Dorian’s stomach dropped thinking he’d said way too much. “You, er... want me to change?” John finally asked with a wide grin.

“No, John definitely not,” Dorian assured him.

“You think you can sit through dinner?”

“I’ll let you know.”

John stood by the balcony railing tending the grill and Dorian moved to stand nearby. “It’s a great view,” Dorian said, finally tearing his eyes away from John to glance out at the city. John’s apartment was on a hill, and overlooked the streets and even some rooftops around them.

“Yeah, this is why I bought the place. If I have to live in the city at least I can feel a bit of space up here.”

“Is that why you like the park? Walking there?”

John nodded and smiled over at Dorian. “Yeah. I don’t go there to pick up guys, I promise you.”

Dorian laughed. “I’m glad about that, I was kind of hoping this could be an exclusive thing,” he added sincerely. _Please be on the same page_.

John surprised him by putting down his tongs and stepping over to stand right there by Dorian, closer than they had probably been on their bench even. Dorian’s heart was about to break out of his chest. Oh shit, how were those arms possible?  “Yes, I want that too,” John told him, as Dorian looked up into his suddenly golden eyes, reflecting the sun setting across the city. “I don’t plan on dating anyone else. Ok?”

Dorian had to hold himself back, literally grabbing onto the railing behind him. “Ok,” he murmured, and John just nodded and went back to turning his meat.


	4. Chapter 4

When Dorian could breathe again he had to excuse himself to attempt to find some self control. They were here to get to know each other, not to rush into anything.

He left the bathroom and a small picture hanging in the hallway in an ornate frame caught his eye. It was a pencil sketch of such detail Dorian just had to lean in and look as closely as he could at the lines. It was almost like a photograph - a beautiful woman, with deep soulful eyes and long hair tied to the side.

“Who is that John, the picture in the hall?” Dorian asked, as he sat down beside John once more on the balcony.

“The sketch? That’s my mother.” John had served up the kebabs and he passed a plate to Dorian. Dorian loved that John could cook, even if it was just on a grill.

“Did you draw her?” John nodded and hummed a yes in response. “You have a real talent, John.”

“Thanks Dorian,” John said, and Dorian could tell he wasn’t too keen to talk about it anymore, so he left the subject. He intended to find out more though because John’s work was amazing.

They were onto third and final glasses of wine from Dorian’s bottle and John had asked whether he wanted more. Dorian wasn’t sure it was a good idea, he was losing it enough with being sober and he didn’t handle alcohol too well, easy to get a little tipsy.

“What makes you read so much, Dorian?” John asked, while they were eating the cookies Dorian had brought. John apparently did like them as much as Dorian. “If it’s not too personal a question.”

“Not at all, I read because I can’t write anymore.”

“What do you mean?” John asked.

Dorian breathed out a long sigh. “I thought I was a writer, for a few years, but I was shot down enough times to know that it wasn’t to be. So...” He sighed again and shook his head. “I read to make up for it I guess. I read everything I can get my hands on to stop thinking about the stories I could be writing myself.”

“Shit, that is...” John put a hand on his shoulder. “That’s kind of heartbreaking, D.”

Dorian just smiled. He was used to the feeling of regret whenever he thought about the way his career could have gone. Another reason for his studying now. “No, man, it’s all good.”

John continued to look at him a little downcast though until he said, “Don’t you ever just want to write again though?  I mean, I stopped drawing for a while but eventually it just called to me... I had to start sketching again, like an addiction.”

Dorian was nodding along with his words. “Yeah,” he said, agreeing but not quite able to put into words how he felt about it, which made him chuckle at how ridiculous that was, considering the topic of conversation. “I'm sorry,” he said, trying to stop his giggles. “I'm only laughing because I have felt like that, I do need to write sometimes, I was just trying to put it into... into words in my head man.” Dorian was shaking with laughter by the time he’d made it through the sentence.  

John was smiling at him, clearly enjoying Dorian’s hilarity. “At least you have a sense of humor about it.” He touched Dorian’s shoulder again and squeezed and Dorian was right back to wishing he could jump into John’s arms.

“So, is there any more of your work that I could see?” Dorian finally asked to try and distract himself.

John hesitated a moment before nodding. “Yeah, there’s a couple of my better sketches in the bedroom, a watercolor in the kitchen. I thought twice about hanging anything to be honest, it’s a private thing isn’t it? But it’s just me here, if anyone’s seen them they’ve never assumed it’s my work.”

“You’ve not told anyone? But you’re brilliant John, you should let people see it.”

“There’s the difference between painting and writing I guess, it takes a little longer to decide if reading something is worth a go. A picture is right there - instant reaction.”

Dorian wanted to tell John how amazing he was again but he thought he’d better leave it.

He finished his drink instead and they talked about books vs movies and some of the truly terrible adaptations Dorian had sat through. John preferred to watch rather than read because the escapism was more instantaneous and he liked to just chill after his manic days. Dorian wanted to persuade him that reading was equally calming, he also wanted to be able to help John to relax in different ways. As his thoughts traveled yet again to how much he wanted to kiss John and feel those arms around him, Dorian knew he had to get going.

John walked him to the front door and held it open for him. “You sure you’re ok to walk?”

“It’s like four blocks John.”

“Yeah well, text me when you get home, ok?”

Dorian struggled to move his feet around the sweetness of the man in front of him. And then he nearly fell over in a panicked shock when John leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“Thanks for coming over Dorian,” John said softly as he stood back. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Dorian whispered, and he backed out of John’s apartment before he could embarrass himself by throwing them both to the floor right there. John’s smirk stayed with him the whole way back to his apartment.

***

John had mixed feelings as he walked over to the park two days later. He was holding a large brown envelope with a sketch inside. He hadn’t been able to get Dorian’s beautiful face from his mind and had drawn him. He wasn’t sure whether Dorian would appreciate it or if he should have just kept it for himself. Whatever though, he was about to find out.

“Hey,” Dorian called, beaming as John approached.

“Hey yourself,” John said, sitting down. “What’s the book today?” he asked, craning to look at the cover in Dorian’s hands.

“To Kill a Mockingbird.”

“Wow, one I’ve already read!” John said, delighted.

“Yeah? What did you think?”

“Loved it enough to worry about this sequel coming up,” John admitted.

“Will you read it?”

“Yeah... I’m interested definitely.”

“Can we read it together? I mean, you know, at the same time? I’d really love to compare notes with you.”

“That sounds great D, yeah,” John said, smiling. He would do anything for Dorian’s happy face. Speaking of which... John pulled out the envelope and handed it to Dorian.

“For me?” Dorian asked, eyes widening.

“Yeah, I um... drew something for you.”

Dorian had it out in a moment and sat staring at it for so long that John was ready to crawl out of his skin with worry.

“John...” Dorian whispered. “You drew me.”

Dorian tore his eyes away from the paper and looked deep into John’s eyes and John could barely stop himself lunging in for a kiss. He nodded and swallowed hard. “What do you think?” he asked.

“I don’t know what to say, this is amazing, no one’s ever done something like this for me.” John could hear the emotion in Dorian’s voice, could see it in his blue eyes when Dorian looked back at him and blinked, a tear escaping. John reached out and brushed it away with his finger tip, completely entranced and Dorian asked, “Can I hug you?”

John smiled even wider and put an arm around Dorian’s shoulder to pull him close. “Don’t ever have to ask, D,” he whispered, as they held each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Dorian woke up with a start, birds singing already but still pretty much dark through the gap in the curtains. He’d been dreaming of John again, of that sweet kiss to Dorian’s cheek, of his warmth and strength as they hugged on their bench. Every morning he had John on his mind, not every dream was as sweet and calm - others had been filled with visions of John’s half-naked body pressed close to Dorian’s, of kisses and longing. He never dreamed of sex, just the idea of it. Despite his vivid imagination his mind never let him get there in his sleep. Maybe because he had so little actual experience to go on, so his subconscious had all but forgotten his past activities? The images he did get were enough to keep his hand busy when he woke up.

This morning he knew there was no point in trying to go back to sleep. His mind turned from John’s most wonderful hazel eyes which searched Dorian’s face so intently, to the sketch he had drawn for Dorian. He still couldn’t believe it as he reached across to his night stand and studied it again in the dim light. Dorian’s face looked composed but with a slight smirk to his lips, his eyes were downcast and Dorian was slightly embarrassed to imagine that he was meant to be reading in the picture. He smiled a little though, he was excited about finishing his most recent book and sharing the sequel with John. _John._ John Kennex. Dorian Kennex. Yeah, he liked the sound of that a lot. He thumped his forehead with the palm of his hand. _Don’t be stupid Dorian._ John had only drawn him a picture, not asked Dorian to marry him. And who was to say John had any intention of letting things get that far? They hadn’t even kissed yet, they’d only had two dates. He was rushing ahead of himself and letting his emotions take over. He needed to think, be more serious, show John there was more to him than books on a park bench.

***

John spent a day worrying that he had gone too far with his gift to Dorian. It had been an impulse to give the sketch to him but he didn’t regret it, he couldn’t after Dorian’s reaction. John had wanted to hold onto him all afternoon but they had to get back to work and college. John sent him a ‘how are you’ message during recess, once he had got rid of the blue paint from his hands and arms, and was very relieved to get a reply a while later.

\- I’m great John, I didn’t need to concentrate today anyway ;) -

John called him when he got home and they talked about their day, John had to go grocery shopping, Dorian was with his aunt, they’d see each other tomorrow as usual and John could not wait. Their conversations were quickly developing into what you would expect in a long-standing relationship, John had happy stomach churns thinking about that, but really he had no idea how Dorian felt. He was attracted to John, that much was clear, but maybe he was looking for someone closer to his age (not that 38 was too far off, John considered). Maybe he didn’t want a relationship at all, just a casual thing? In which case John felt even more unsure about his drawing.

After his shopping trip and subsequent dinner, he found himself with pencil in hand and sketching out a bench with what looked like a very close couple sitting together, sharing a moment. He kind of wanted to give this one to Dorian as well.

***

Thursday night came around and Dorian met John for drinks. He was less nervous, although oddly he felt a little uneasy at being out in such a public place with John, he wanted him all to himself again like their barbecue date.  

“You never did tell me why you were late for lunch, John,” Dorian asked, as they sat down on adjacent bar stools.

John sighed but gave Dorian a sidelong smirk. “We were making farm animals today, for a wall display, you can imagine, ok - cotton buds everywhere, that gloopy glue which takes a year to dry, plastic googly eyes, paint, the works. I was helping one of the smallest kids to do her pig while a couple of older ones were making sheep next to us. These kids man, they are so cute and so crafty. I knew they were up to something, but, you know, I was distracted and what harm can they really do, right?” Dorian was grinning already and John continued, after taking a sip of his drink. “So, about five minutes in and the kid I’m helping pipes up ‘Why are they sticking that to you?’”

Dorian laughed loudly before hiding behind his drink, and John glared a little but then smiled at him. “What was it?” Dorian finally asked.

“It was a heap of cotton wool. On the back of my shirt. They were making _me_ the sheep.”

“Oh, my God,” Dorian gasped out, putting his drink on the bar for safety. When he could talk again without giggling he asked, “Do you not wear coveralls?”

“Nah, not these days, I mean they help a bit but like I said, anything too bad I just reuse at home.”

“So you had to clean up before you met me?”

“I had to peal those little balls off my shirt yeah, there was so much glue they’d started dribbling down my back before I could get to the bathroom,” John shook his head, smiling to himself.

“I don’t know how you do it, man, I could not do what you do every day.”

“It’s been so long I don’t know what else I’d ever want to do with myself. I never get those Sunday night blues, I’m very lucky, I know.”

“That’s great, John. I hope I can find something so fitting when I get out of college.”

“You will, D,” John assured him, that nickname resounding in Dorian’s heart. To give a nickname was to like someone, right? Surely John wouldn’t do that unless he cared for Dorian.

They drank some more, each ordering their favorite drink for the other and both enjoying the alcohol a little too much. Dorian was feeling over-excited and even more giggly than usual after their couple of hours in the bar. He noticed John had edged a little closer to him and their knees were touching. Dorian could pretend it was deliberate or he could assume, more realistically, that it was the press of patrons around them at the bar that made John squeeze closer.

Before John could finish his next sentence he was knocked from behind and Dorian suddenly found them closer still as John saved his fall by using Dorian to catch himself. One hand landed on his right thigh, the other on Dorian’s chest and John’s face was closer to Dorian than he could have wished for. “Shit, sorry man,” John said, after a brief, shocked moment, and behind him Dorian could hear a vague apology from the man who had presumably bumped into him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Dorian said, too softly to be properly heard over the general noise. He stared into John’s eyes before looking down to his moistened lips and his heart thudded as they leaned a little closer to each other.

But suddenly John pulled back, removed his hands and sat back on his stool. Dorian deflated immediately. Shit. That was it then. John clearly wasn’t interested in them taking this any further. That had been the perfect kissing opportunity and John hadn’t taken it. Dorian was not prepared to risk lunging after him now and being rejected, and so he turned towards the bar and gulped down the remainder of his drink to avoid meeting John’s eyes.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” John asked quietly.

Dorian looked over to him and nodded. Yeah, he guessed they should go, call it quits now before he got in any deeper.

They walked home and Dorian had to smile at them both stumbling a little, they were like a couple of drunken teenage friends on a night out. But friends was all Dorian could hope for. They arrived at Dorian’s place first, giggling by the time they reached the bottom step and Dorian didn’t even know why they were laughing. He really should have stopped drinking long before that last one.

As a last attempt to finalize things for himself, Dorian turned to John and asked, “Do you want to come in? Coffee or water maybe?”

John shook his head. “No, I’ve gotta get home, D, never normally out this late on a school night.”

Dorian felt his mood threatening to swallow him up. And then John stepped up to him, took him by the hand and pulled him in until their lips met, sloppy and uncoordinated and tasting of vodka and _fuck_ John’s lips were soft.

He drew back heaving in air and barely able to stand straight, their hands still clasped together.

“Next time, ok?” John told him, letting Dorian’s hand slip from his.

Dorian was speechless and could only nod his head.

“’Night, Dorian.”

Dorian backed up the steps to his door and John winked at him. “’Night, John.”


	6. Chapter 6

_Urghh._  What was he thinking drinking so much? John smacked at his alarm and shoved the covers back, sitting up to rest on his elbows and blinking in the early morning light. Last night suddenly rushed back to him cutting straight through the pain behind his eyes. Dorian. Laughing and drinking with him, walking with him, touching his hand, kissing Dorian. John lay back on his pillow smiling. Yeah, that had really happened, not just in his head.

He slipped a hand into his boxer briefs and wrapped his palm and fingers around his firm cock. He closed his eyes and looked into Dorian’s warm, smiling face in his mind. He let out a sigh as he pulled up and down on his cock, curling his fingers tighter around the head. He reached his other hand down and stroked his balls, tugging lightly on the smooth skin and cupping them into his palm. He thought of pulling Dorian close, of the moment their lips touched and their fingers clasped tightly around each other. The brief kiss lasted far longer in John’s head - this vision of himself and Dorian, pressed close, continued to kiss until John came all over himself.

 

John sent a text to Dorian as he wandered to the bathroom.

-D, I really want to do that again-

He got a reply as he was brushing his teeth.

-Tonight?-

John smiled and used his one dry finger to text back.

-Yeah. See you for lunch too?-

-Course John ;) -

John was beaming from then on, despite his headache. He spent most of the morning out in the school gardens, sandpits and play houses in the fresh air was just about manageable. He still got covered in water before it was even 10am, when two kids upended the water table all over his pants.

After John had changed and cleaned up he grabbed his lunch and walked his usual route to the park. He couldn’t help smiling to himself as he walked the path leading to his and Dorian’s bench. He couldn’t wait to see the guy again. He wasn’t entirely sure what they had going on yet but he knew he wanted more, felt that what they were leading towards was a good thing. It was special to him, what he had with Dorian and he was protective over the idea of _them_ , let alone the man himself. His grin vanished when he reached the bench, looked up and found he was alone. No Dorian. John had become so used to seeing his face and cute smile in that same spot each day, he had taken it for granted. 

He looked around, hoping that Dorian had just been held up like John had been. He sat after a moment and checked his phone in case of a message. Nothing. John deflated. Something had gone wrong, the kiss had been too much, John had moved too quickly. Or not quickly enough? Last night had been too little too late? Shit.

John’s lunch sat untouched beside him on the bench as he glared at the ground and tried to think of another reason for Dorian and his book to be anywhere else right now. He had been so excited to get here today, and felt more than a little stupid now to have assumed Dorian would have been too. John tried his best to lighten his mood as he walked back to the school, he was known as Mr Grumpy with the kids but they all knew it was an act. He would definitely have to put on a false smile this afternoon though, he hadn’t felt so crushed in a long time, and was even more amazed at the effect Dorian had on him after just a couple of short weeks.  

 

Still no word. John had sent a text when he left work, he sat on the bus and tried not to think the worst, but he couldn't believe Dorian had just disappeared. John knew where he lived of course but he wasn’t quite at the stage of turning up unannounced to investigate. He was fairly certain he should be acting more like an adult about this but he felt like a school boy again, rejected, heartbroken over a girl saying no to holding hands; of a boy tormenting him in the playground rather than wanting to be his friend. 

And this whole scenario was exactly why John had kept himself single for more than eighteen months. He was not good at handling rejection of any kind. Much better to just stay by himself and concentrate his emotions into his art. 

But he loved being with Dorian, had thought of nothing else since they had met. He had drawn only sketches of Dorian, seeing only his beautiful face when he had paper in front of him.

Later that evening after wallowing in a drink on his balcony, which only reminded him of Dorian, he found himself browsing his sparse bookshelves. They were mostly filled with classics from his studying days and he took out To Kill a Mockingbird and sat down to give it another go. Feeling closer to Dorian by reading the book he had more than likely finished already, didn’t do a lot to ease John’s pain, but it was all he had right now.  

 

John woke up with a book on his face, not the most common thing for him, and he was lying on his couch. Everything was silent around him, nothing out of place and he didn’t know what had woken him. Unlike this morning when waking up had been so sweet, this time he was not so happy. No word from Dorian all day. He looked at his watch, 11:30pm. Dragging his legs over the side of the couch, John plunked his feet down and felt the cold screen of his phone on his, thankfully, bare foot. His rubbed his hands over his face before reaching down to grab the phone and saw the message on the screen. 

-Hey John, I hope you’re doing ok. My aunt is in hospital I’ve been there all day. Just got home. Sorry for today-

Oh God, Dorian. John’s heart raced as he fumbled to reply with sleepy eyes and shaking fingers.

-Is there anything I can do? How is she? How are you?-

The phone rang as John sat there staring at it and it made him jump.

“Dorian?”

“Hi John, sorry it’s so late, I thought I’d call rather than text again.” Dorian sounded so tired, just exhausted and emotional. John inhaled sharply at the thought of not being able to touch him, to hug and reassure him. 

“It’s fine, D, of course, what happened?”

“She’s ok, they think she might have diabetes, been testing her all day, hit her head this morning.”

It was a bit disjointed but John got the idea. “Shit, are _you_ ok? Do you need anything?”

Dorian sighed and John waited. “Could you... John I’d love to see you right now,” Dorian whispered. But before John could say he would be right there, Dorian added, “Sorry, it’s late, I’ll be better in the morning, I just need to sleep.”

“If you need me -” John started, but Dorian cut him off.

“No, I'm sorry I shouldn’t have put this on you, I'm fine really.”

“It's ok, don't apologize.” John was pretty much falling apart inside, he was desperate for Dorian to know he cared and was here for him. But he also realized Dorian must have other friends to call on and probably didn't need John. So he had to leave it. 

“I’ll see you, John,” Dorian said quietly.

“Yeah, ok, sure. Take care, Dorian.” John clung to his phone and stared as the call ended and the screen went blank.

Shit. What just happened? If that was all he could manage when Dorian came to him with a crisis he was as good as useless. He stomped to his bed and knew he'd be lying there awake for some time. 


	7. Chapter 7

John thought of nothing but Dorian for the next three days, he was always on John’s mind even while he worked with the kids, they made him laugh as always but his laughter was bittersweet. Not even potato painting a wall display could fully distract from the disappointment he felt at not being with Dorian right now. Each time he walked by their bench his heart fluttered a little at the thought of Dorian being there and when he wasn’t John kept walking. He couldn’t bear to sit there on his own feeling like this, like he had done the wrong thing and didn’t know how to change things.

There was no more word from Dorian and John didn’t want to keep bothering him but he did send one more message to let Dorian know he was thinking of him. His sketches that first night were of books lying alone on a shelf. John really needed to get his head together. He wondered if Dorian was reading in the hospital by his aunt’s bedside or if he wasn’t able to read his beloved books?

John was drawing his favorite subject again by the third night because he just couldn’t stop himself from seeing those eyes, and he had a couple of small drawings in front of him before he knew it. And then the phone rang.

“John, hi.” Dorian’s voice was soft and tired.

“Dorian, are you ok? I’ve been thinking about you,” John said in an embarrassing rush of words.

“I’m fine John, thanks. I’ve thought about you too.”

John sighed in relief, to know that he had been on Dorian’s mind with all that he was dealing with was very special.

“How is your aunt?”

“She’s doing ok, they’re keeping her in another couple of days, Mom’s staying as long as she can tonight, so I’m just home now.”

“You must be exhausted.”

“Yeah, hardly slept to be honest.” Dorian sighed and John wanted to hold him so much.

“I’m not surprised,” John said, hesitating over what he wanted to say.

“John,” Dorian started, before pausing a moment. “Would you come over? I know it’s late but I don’t think I can sleep just yet. And I’d really enjoy your company,” he added, and if John had been ready to leave instantly a moment ago, now he just wanted to run headlong through the streets to get to him.

“Yeah, of course I’ll be there. Give me a few minutes, ok?”

John heard what he hoped was a relieved sigh from Dorian before he said, “Thanks John. Thank you.”

“D, go lie down or something will you? I'm bringing food.”

***

Dorian opened his front door thirty long minutes after speaking with John. He couldn’t help the first real smile that had crossed his face in days when he saw John. John held up two large grocery bags brimming with food.

“Hey.”

“John, you didn’t need to go shopping.”

“Oh yeah? When was the last non-hospital food you had?”

“Er... yeah, well, good point,” Dorian said. “Will you come in?” He stood back and let John through into his hallway.

“D, this is a nice place,” John said, as he wandered in and stood looking up at the tall ceilings.

“Yeah, my aunt’s place,” Dorian told him hesitantly. He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed, but he was, especially after seeing John’s own home.

John looked back at him. “Oh, really? So you live with her?”

“Yes, just until I get through college.”

“That’s cool D, I'm glad you’ve got her.” John came back towards Dorian a couple of steps and pulled up the bags a little, rustling the paper. “Do you want to put these in the kitchen?” he asked.

“Yeah, sorry I’ll take them,” Dorian said, shutting the door behind him and reaching for the bags.

“D, I’ve got them, just show me where to go,” John told him softly.

Dorian nodded, grateful for John’s easy friendship. He moved past John in the suddenly very narrow corridor, and led him to the kitchen at the back of the house.

Once they had stashed the food Dorian wondered what would happen next, he should be more outwardly pleased to have John here, at such short notice too, but he was just exhausted and he was sure it showed. He couldn’t think.

“Dorian,” John said quietly, stepping over to stand beside him. “Come here,” he said gently, and held open his arms. Dorian moved without hesitation and was engulfed in the warmest hug he had ever known. John’s arms wrapped around him, one stroking up and across his shoulders, the other winding around his waist and bringing Dorian in close. Dorian all but melted into John’s arms. He closed his eyes, let his head fall against John’s shoulder and let out a breath he felt sure he had been holding since he found his aunt.

“It was awful, John,” he whispered. “I found her, collapsed in the living room... I thought she was gone.”

“It’s ok, D, it’s ok,” John whispered, as he held on tightly.

They separated eventually, reluctantly. Staying close, John asked, “What can I make you? You need to eat.”

Dorian kind of felt like he should tell John that he wasn’t hungry, but the guy was being so kind he really didn’t want to say no. He had only showered when he got in before calling John, no energy left for anything more, so he was very grateful when John made him a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of fresh strawberries. It was a sandwich to rival his own mom’s and that was saying something.  

They sat on the couch after they’d eaten, Dorian definitely ready to sleep now but not wanting John to go anywhere. John told him he would go with him to see his aunt in the hospital if he would like, and Dorian was more than happy with that. He knew it was too soon to be asking anything more of him, but he had to wonder what John would say if Dorian asked him to stay.

***

Dorian woke up feeling actually quite well rested. But he had no idea where he was and as he slowly realized he wasn’t in his bed or the hospital, he looked up and behind him to find a still asleep John, one arm draped across his chest, the other resting gently on Dorian’s shoulder.

Dorian didn’t dare breathe for a second... they hadn’t discussed this, they’d just fallen asleep during a movie. He felt responsible though, he had been flaking when John got to his place the previous night - he should have asked John to go. Or to stay. But he hadn’t and now here they were, sun streaming in through the half open blinds, the sleep warmth of their bodies permeating each other. John was going to wake up any moment and then they’d have to deal with this.

After a moment Dorian breathed out and although he desperately wanted to keep their connection, he eased himself out from under John’s hands and managed to sit up before John opened his eyes.

John yawned and stretched out his arms above his head, his shirt slipping up his stomach and making Dorian start to overheat again. Shit, shit, shit.

John opened his eyes and looked right at Dorian. “Hi,” John said sleepily, his voice husky and deeper than normal.

“Hey, John,” Dorian replied, torn between getting up and staying right there beside him.

“I guess we fell asleep?” John asked, with a smirk which relaxed Dorian a little.

“Yeah man, I'm really sorry about that.”

“Not your fault,” John said, yawning again. “I’m the one who should apologize.” He sat up and straightened his clothing while Dorian tried to avoid noticing any further flashes of skin. “Do you need to get going? I don’t wanna hold you up.”

“No, John, it’s fine, will you have some breakfast at least?” 

“Yeah, sure, that’d be great D,” John said, smiling before rubbing his eyes, while Dorian imagined what he would look like waking up in his bed.

.....................

While they ate, Dorian asked tentatively, “John, is today too soon for visiting with me?”

“Your aunt? Of course I will, if that’s what you want.”

Yes, yes, he did, Dorian was so relieved. He wanted John to be with him, he wasn’t ready to leave him just yet. 


	8. Chapter 8

Dorian got up from the table while John was finishing up. “I’ll... er... I just need to shower,” he said, wishing he could invite John in there with him. “Will you be ok out here for a few minutes?”

John smiled after a mouthful of eggs and bacon. “Yeah, I can manage. Unless you need a hand in there with anything?”

Dorian’s eyes went very wide and he was on the verge of nodding just as John winked.

“I’ll be fine D.”

Dorian smiled but turned away before his face fell. He wondered if John had forgotten about their kiss from the other night.

He showered quickly, just needing to clear his head more than anything; he regretted having to wash off the scent of John’s cologne from their close proximity on the couch last night.

He was rubbing a towel over his hair, another wrapped loosely around his hips as he came out of the en-suite into his bedroom.

He looked up to the sound of a gentle cough from the doorway and lowered the towel to see John standing there. “Sorry, I just...” John faltered, but a second later he broke into a huge grin. “I have no excuse, Dorian, I wanted to see if I could borrow a shirt, but I also wanted to see this,” he said, gesturing to Dorian’s current state.

“Oh really? You wanted to see what color towels I use...?” Dorian asked, as he dropped the one in his hand to the floor and took a step towards John.

John smiled wider and shook his head as he came further into the room. “Uh uh.”

“What else, John?”

“D, I really need to kiss you again.”

“I’m here for that,” Dorian answered and they came together, John’s hands going up to gently touch his neck, fingertips against his cheeks as their lips met and Dorian tilted his head ever so slightly upwards to get a better angle. His hands slid around John’s waist, pulling their chests together so he could feel the soft cotton of John’s shirt against his damp skin. John kissed him firmly, crushing their mouths together and sucking on his lower lip before plunging his tongue inside, and Dorian reached up a hand to John’s stubble-roughened cheek.

This was more than Dorian had hoped for, even beyond his dreams of the last couple of nights. John pulled him closer and slipped his fingers under the top of Dorian’s towel as Dorian dragged a hand down John’s muscled back to grab his ass.

Dorian slid his hands into John’s hair as their kiss intensified, John was moaning into his mouth and Dorian needed to take a breath but didn’t want to stop. Their tongues moved over each other hungrily, pressing and probing. Dorian’s fingers gripped at John’s dark hair tugging gently, and he felt John’s hand slide further under the towel. As Dorian felt the towel slip they both seemed to realize that they needed air and pulled back a little. Neither of them moved their hands, grasping and stroking at each other as they stood there, eyes locked together and breaths coming erratically.

“John,” Dorian breathed out when he could speak. “John, I want you.”

“Yeah, me too, Dorian.” John sounded as wrecked as Dorian felt, definitely a good thing.

“But we should... uh... maybe wait?” Dorian said awkwardly, not really wanting to say that at all, but he really did need to get to the hospital.

“Ok," John said softly, hand squeezing a little under the towel. "You wanna get dressed though D, or I can’t be held responsible for what happens,” he added, with a smirk. They let each other go, Dorian grinning and wanting to go back in for another kiss and to hell with finding his clothes.

“Yeah, you’d better give me a minute here,” he said.

“Right, sure,” John said, glancing downwards as he took a step back.

Dorian’s heart was going crazy and he knew John would see how hard he was under the towel. John looked back into his eyes with an eyebrow raised and they both laughed. Dorian ran both hands over his face and shook his head a little. “I better get dressed, man. Did you need a shirt?” He turned and pulled open a drawer for John to look through.

“Thanks, Dorian.”

“I’d say you could use the shower, but I don’t think I could handle it,” Dorian told him, fairly serious. John laughed and Dorian looked back to see him adjusting the front of his pants, before choosing a dark green t-shirt and pushing the drawer closed. “I’ll just... be in here,” Dorian said, gesturing to the en-suite, and then he took the clothes he’d laid out earlier and hid in the bathroom to calm down.   

***

John stood for a moment, staring longingly at the bathroom door. He desperately wanted to go in there and see how long they could handle not touching each other. But he sighed and pulled off his shirt to replace it with Dorian’s.

.....................

Dorian had been taking a bus or cab to the hospital but John insisted they go back to his place so they could use his truck. He wanted to help Dorian however he could. He also wanted to hold Dorian’s hand as they walked, but the opportunity didn’t seem to come up and Dorian understandably seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts.

John kept stealing glances across to Dorian as he drove, and each time Dorian was looking back at him. They spoke about the movie they had fallen asleep to, Dorian apparently saw a little more than John, which meant John had probably been snoring before Dorian fell asleep. John was still lightheaded about the whole thing, the feeling of relief and just... perfection when he and Dorian had kissed, _fuck_ he wanted more of that. He knew Dorian felt the same physically, that much had been obvious. He wondered how far they would have taken things if time hadn’t been short this morning.

.....................

John smiled as soon as he saw Dorian’s aunt, they looked so alike it would have been obvious they were related. He felt honored to be in her room, visiting like this when she must need close family by her side.

But Dorian introduced them as soon as they entered, sat John down by his aunt’s side and then stayed close as he pulled up his own chair. “John, it’s lovely to meet you,” Aunt Shara said, taking his hand in hers. She seemed a little tired, a little pale but with a smile as broad as Dorian’s, she was obviously on the same spectrum of happiness as her nephew. John couldn’t help but want to meet the rest of his family.

“Nice to meet you ma’am, I hope you’re being well looked after?”

“Absolutely, I’ll be back home before I know it, although I’m sure Dorian’s enjoying the peace and quiet.”

Dorian shook his head. “Not at all, you know I miss you,” he told her quietly.

“So, what have you two been up to this morning?  It’s early for a visit.”

John looked to Dorian and felt his cheeks heating as their kiss flashed back to him in graphic detail. Dorian’s shy smile made John smile too and he had to look away, afraid that Shara would see straight through them and not wanting to give away anything Dorian wasn’t ready for.

“We... um... had breakfast,” Dorian said vaguely. “Had a walk.”

“I see. And do you have plans for later today?”

Dorian met John’s eyes again and he rose his eyebrows a little, “I guess, well, we haven’t spoken about it yet.”

“Maybe the library?” John hinted, hoping Dorian knew that he wanted to spend the day with him, if that’s what Dorian wanted too.

“Sounds good John, I do need another few books.”

“How was that romance I gave to you, Dorian?” Shara asked with a serious expression.

“Oh, no, I’m not talking about that one,” Dorian said, smiling wide, and Shara laughed as John looked between them both.

“What was it, D?” John asked.

His aunt answered for him. “I gave him one from my own collection recently, there were a few hot pages in there, I wanted to know what Dorian thought of it.”

“I’m not sharing!” Dorian cried out with a laugh.  

John shook his head, unable to compare this relationship with any of his own family members and himself. He was charmed.

***

Dorian moved to sit closer to his aunt as he watched John leave the room to bring his truck around to a closer exit. He was giving them some time alone and Dorian was falling more for the sweetness of the man each moment.

“Dorian,” his aunt said, sternly. “Tell me the truth about you two right now, young man. John is far more than just a friend.”

Dorian was undeniably taken aback for a moment. “Why do you say that?”

“He’s wearing a shirt I gave to you, so that was a giveaway right there.” Dorian laughed at his aunt’s easy humor, despite her current state. “And you look at each other as if you’re already in love."

“What? No, _no_... Ok, so I’m hoping we _are_ more than friends, but it’s still early days. We’re not in love,” he finished, lamely.

“Well, if you saw what I saw, you’d think you were.”

“We’ve not even –” Dorian looked down at his toes because he was not going to have this conversation.

“You have a free house right now-”

“Auntie Shara... no, just _no_ ,” Dorian told her, laughing.

“I’m just saying, you should spend some quiet time together, have a talk about what you want to happen between the two of you.”

Dorian nodded. She had a good point. They said their goodbyes and Dorian kissed her forehead, telling her he would be back tomorrow.   

He walked through the hospital corridors, his pace quickening as he thought more about John. He was ready to talk about their future, immediate future at the very least. After talking he wanted to stop talking, so that other things could happen. He was definitely ready for that.

John’s truck was in a space right across from the entrance and John was waiting with an arm out of the window, humming along with the radio. He had never looked so hot - sitting there, relaxed, hair ruffled by the light breeze, smile on his full lips as he noticed Dorian. Dorian wasn’t sure they would make it back home.

John suggested going back to his place where they could sit out on his balcony and have a drink. “What about the library?” Dorian asked, not really concerned since getting John alone again was uppermost on his mind.

“Whatever you want, D, I just want to be with you,” John told him, reaching a hand over to lay gently against Dorian’s thigh.

“Same John. Should we go back for my toothbrush?”

John looked over and Dorian winked. “I’ve got a spare,” John told him, grinning. Dorian may have imagined the slight acceleration in John’s driving, but he didn’t imagine the movement of John’s hand further onto his thigh or the squeeze of John’s fingers into the muscle there.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it hot in here?

John drove them back through the city as quickly as he could. He was feeling all kinds of happy after their morning so far. They had finally kissed again - John could barely refrain from pulling into the nearest lot and starting something right there in the car. His career and potential for ending it if caught stopped him however, and he kept his hand on Dorian’s leg instead, rubbing and squeezing and soon felt Dorian’s fingers caress the back of his neck, John got goosebumps all over his arms from the sensation. He looked over and smiled warmly at Dorian.

“How much further, John?” Dorian asked, running his fingers up into John’s short hair.

“Almost there,” John managed, as he kept his eyes on the road, slid his hand further up towards Dorian’s crotch.

Finally, he parked the truck under his building and cut off the engine. As soon as he turned to his right, Dorian lunged at him over the center console and was straddling John’s lap within a moment.

“Wow,” John said, grabbing Dorian’s hips and holding him firmly, despite the surprise.

“Hi John,” Dorian said, before grasping his cheeks and lunging in for a kiss. John’s lips parted instantly and he felt Dorian’s tongue against his own, Dorian tasted a little of mint and he closed his eyes and pulled Dorian further into his lap until their groins were rubbing together as their tongues entwined. Dorian’s hands fell to John’s shoulders and smoothed down his chest and John wrapped him up into his arms as they continued to kiss. John leaned forward with Dorian as he began to pull away, not wanting to break their connection. “John,” Dorian gasped out as they parted. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he said. “Not just today I mean.”

“I’m the same D,” John said, kissing Dorian’s soft lips again and then across his cheek to beneath his ear. He still held on tightly to Dorian and he could feel how hard he was even through their jeans. They needed to get naked pretty soon. “Let’s get inside,” he said, and Dorian nodded, still breathing hard.

They started by the front door, Dorian wrapping his arms around John’s chest from behind as John shut the door. Dorian nuzzled at his neck, kissed him with gentle lips and John leaned back eagerly into his touch, adoring the attention.

Dorian sucked a little on his neck, the skin so sensitive as to almost tickle. John felt teeth nipping and he groaned and turned in Dorian’s arms. They were close enough that John was looking down a little into Dorian’s face and his blue eyes were shining while he smiled up at John. John trailed his fingertips down from Dorian’s temple to his jaw adoring the contrast in their skin. Dorian’s hands were at John’s waist now and he pulled their bodies flush, groins nudging each other. Dorian gripped John’s hand and pulled it down to press against his hard cock, still grinning. John kissed him then, grinding into their combined hands and finding no resistance to his tongue as it pushed between Dorian’s lips. He felt Dorian’s hands tugging at his belt and they separated again, Dorian shoved him back against the door and they kissed again, John feeling every part of himself awakening as their bodies pressed and moulded to each other. It had been a while since John had done this, let anyone this close to him, and he was so glad he had waited for Dorian.

“Where’s your bedroom?” Dorian whispered, before their mouths had come apart from each other, his teeth caught on John’s lower lip as he spoke and John got another jolt of pleasure at the slight sting. He reached for Dorian’s hand and took him as quickly across the apartment to his bedroom as two people attached together could manage.

Dorian stripped off his t-shirt as soon as John closed the door. He leaned back on it for a moment, just appreciating the view. Dorian was built – his arms and torso seemed to be just muscle, his stomach purely comprised of abs and beautiful smooth skin, and those wide shoulders... what had John done to be with this cute, kind, hot-as-fuck guy? Whatever the reason he was extremely thankful.

Dorian’s hands hesitated at his belt and John just stared, feeling himself grow warmer just from the thought of what they could do together.

“Enjoying this, John?” Dorian asked, slowly unfastening his belt, and John couldn’t move - he just nodded, smiling as he watched. Dorian slid his hand into his waistband and waited. “You want to see more? I think I’m gonna need to trade for your shirt.”

John ripped his shirt off within a second. “Ok?” he asked.

Dorian nodded and popped the button on his jeans, then gradually slid the zipper down while John’s hands moved unconsciously to his own pants and his heart kept up a crazy rhythm in his chest. As Dorian kicked out of his jeans, John finally moved across the room to him, “D, you are stunning,” he breathed, reaching out tentatively to touch, mainly because he kind of wanted to be invited, and also because he didn’t know where to start. Dorian suddenly grabbed him and pulled him in for a kiss. John could kiss him all day, definitely all night. Dorian’s lips were so luscious John just wanted to sink his teeth in, which he did gently, while palming his shoulders, down to his biceps and around to encircle his back.

Their teeth clashed a little and Dorian moaned and sighed as John licked into his mouth and their tongues met. Dorian wrapped himself tightly around John, squeezing and clutching at his ass. John had the sudden urge to lift him and he slid his hands firmly around Dorian’s waist to heft him up. Dorian broke their kiss as John lifted him and immediately wrapped his legs around John’s hips.

“Fuck, you’re strong,” Dorian said, not sounding too surprised, definitely turned on by the sound of his voice.

“Yeah, you could take me,” John told him, voice rough with both effort and desire. He moved the few steps to the bed.

“Was that a challenge?” Dorian murmured into his ear, before kissing his way up to his temple. He gripped John’s shoulders and John held him tightly as he lay them both down on his bed. He kissed down Dorian’s chest, licked at a nipple and over to the other, grazing with his teeth wherever he could, smoothing his hands over Dorian’s warm skin and struggling to remain calm as Dorian arched up to meet each kiss and caress.

He looked up when he got to the waistband of his underwear. “Go ahead John.” John slipped his fingers under the elastic on either side of Dorian’s hips and tugged them down, kissing every new piece of skin he revealed. He had to catch his breath when Dorian’s cock sprang free.

“Fuck,” he drew out, as he glanced up at Dorian’s face before getting straight to it and engulfing Dorian’s ample cock with his mouth. Dorian cried out and grabbed at one of John’s hands, blindly lacing their fingers together while his other sank into John’s hair. John sucked at the head, bulbous and smooth on his tongue and he tasted the pre-come already seeping out. He ran his tongue along the slit and sucked his cheeks in again, wrapping his tongue around the head - Dorian’s hands tightened, another cry, and whispers of John’s name on his lips.

John wanted everything at once, he was desperate to make Dorian come but wanted to be kissing his mouth and feeling their bodies sliding together at the same time. He ran his free hand up those sculpted abs and looked up briefly to try to catch Dorian’s eyes, but instead he saw his lover’s head thrown to the side, eyes closed, chest heaving in and out. John moved his hand over Dorian’s heart to feel the racing beat before slowly lowering his head again and running his right hand all the way down, over his hip, to his thigh, and then cupping the heavy set of balls into his palm. He stroked and sucked for a while, loving Dorian’s moans of pleasure above him, and then curled his fingers around the base of Dorian’s cock and rubbed the rock hard flesh along with the movements of his mouth.

“Oh fuck, John... fuuck.”

John strained against his own underwear but was too caught up with getting Dorian off to bother releasing the pressure. He sucked harder, jerked his hand more quickly and finally tasted Dorian’s come all over his tongue. Dorian cried out again as John pulled off a little to give himself more room to swallow and then just kept sucking until Dorian’s hand was yanking at his hair.  

John popped off his cock, giving a final kiss to his hip bone as he raised onto his elbows. Dorian’s head fell back on the pillow. “You’re loud when you come. I love that,” John told him.

“Get up here man, oh my... fuck, that was awesome.” John all but climbed up Dorian’s body to get closer. Dorian crushed their mouths tight together and pressed his tongue inside John’s mouth, eagerly licking and John knew he must be tasting his own come and John was about three seconds from making a mess of himself. He tore away from Dorian’s lips. “Fuck, you turn me on D, I need you so much,” he whispered harshly.

They kissed again, lips sliding against each other, hungrily tasting and touching. “Sit up here John, let me help you.” Dorian motioned for John to straddle him and John did, after quickly shucking his boxer briefs. He gripped at Dorian’s sides with his knees while he put both hands on that beautiful chest and stroked over Dorian's smooth, muscled body.

Dorian was still panting out his breaths and there was sweat trickling from his temples, a sheen across his chest. It just made John hotter to have done this to Dorian. Dorian reached out and ran his hands down John’s body from chest to thigh and then he dipped his fingers into the crease of his groin. John was pretty ticklish there but Dorian’s firm touch had him squirming for different reasons.

“Touch me, please,” John murmured, and Dorian ran his hand over John’s cock, standing erect against his belly. John was ready to come as soon as Dorian’s slender fingers slipped around him. He made himself stay focused on not shooting all over him... for now at least. John kept one hand braced on his lover’s chest while Dorian pulled at his cock with expert moves. John’s other hand slid against Dorian’s cheek and Dorian turned his face into John’s palm. John’s head hung low, he gasped out his breaths as he got closer to orgasm, gripping his fingers into Dorian’s hair. He wanted to kiss but the angle wouldn’t allow it and he couldn’t get enough of Dorian’s hands, one of which was now palming his balls and John couldn’t hold back any more - Dorian’s grip increased and his movements sped up as if he knew, as if they had done this a thousand times together.

“Dorian-” John cried out, and he felt Dorian’s hand press into his chest, holding him up in a mirror of John’s own hand, holding each other’s hearts as John came all over him.


	10. Chapter 10

Dorian let John’s cock out of his hand with a final gentle squeeze all the way down his length. He watched as John panted and laughed, leaning his weight on Dorian’s chest. John opened his eyes after a moment, meeting Dorian’s eyes so intensely Dorian almost had to look away. His palm was still against John’s chest and the beat of his heart was extreme but calming gradually. He let his hand slowly slide down John’s body until he was clutching both of John’s hips.

John shifted his hands onto the bed either side of Dorian and pressed down onto his body, sliding a little on his come-sticky skin. “D,” John murmured, and he leaned in for a kiss which Dorian was more than happy about. He was in awe of what had just happened. He drew John close, sweeping his hand over the broad muscles of his back as they gently explored each other’s mouths. John’s hands went into his hair. Dorian already felt like he never had in another’s arms. He was so relieved they had got to this place.

Neither seemed to want to leave the other's arms but after a few more beautiful moments of soft kisses, John raised onto his elbows and smiled down at Dorian before rolling them both onto their sides so they were staring into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t even strange that Dorian felt comfortable so close to John like this, it all just seemed very natural. There were no words about what they had done together, but after a while Dorian rolled onto his back a little way and looked up as he stretched his arms and legs out.

“Woah, John are those yours?” Dorian asked, pointing up towards two beautiful water colors adorning the wall.

“Mmm, yeah,” John murmured, still watching Dorian when he looked back. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re incredibly talented, man,” Dorian said, sitting up a bit to get a better look. “Where’s the view in this one? I recognize it.”

“It’s from my balcony, sunset,” John said, sounding a little quiet, but smiling back at him. “Actually, I know I gave you one already, but,” John reached over to his bedside drawer. “I drew a couple more.” He sat up and handed Dorian a small stack of paper. Dorian sat up against the headboard beside John and looked at what was in his hands.

“John, these are so... detailed, and beautiful...” He shook his head, at a loss as to how to describe his thoughts. “Can you tell I’m not an artist?” he laughed.

John just smiled at him and seemed content to take whatever Dorian’s reaction was. “Thanks D, they’re for you, I wanted to give them to you, maybe inspire some words? I dunno, I just couldn’t get you out of my head.”

Dorian leaned over and cupped John’s cheek in his hand, touching their lips together and gently pressing his forehead against John’s after the kiss. He didn’t know what to say. “John, no one’s ever thought about me like this before,” he whispered.

John kissed him back, dragging his lips gently across Dorian’s, pressing them together and nipping with his teeth. “I care about you Dorian, more than anything... truly.”

“John, I-” Dorian hesitated, not able to come up with anything remotely sensible to reply with. “Thanks, I feel the same,” he eventually managed. “You haven’t read any of my words yet though, might change how you feel.”

“Yet? You mean you’ll show me some?”

Dorian grinned but looked away, then glanced back, sidelong at John. “I did a little writing actually, while Auntie Shara was sleeping. It’s been a while but I kind of liked how it turned out.”

“That’s great,” John kissed him again. “I’m really proud of you, D.”

Dorian laughed again but swooned inside, refraining from telling John again to wait until he read it. This was good, it was enough for now to have told John about his words. It was more than a little awesome that John had drawn for him again.

They sat quietly after that, John’s arm around Dorian’s shoulder while Dorian continued to study the sketches. There were books so detailed they could be a photo, another sketch of Dorian smiling this time, and another unmistakable close up of his eyes.  

“You have a beautiful face,” John murmured.

“Man, you’re making me blush,” Dorian grinned. “I’m honored that you’d want to draw me, honestly.”

He handed them to John after a final look but John said, “Will you keep them?”

Dorian nodded. “Yeah, I’d love to.” John put them on his nightstand without looking behind him while he slipped his arm around Dorian’s waist and drew him in close, kissing him again, touching his fingertips to Dorian’s cheek. Their lips touched and John took his time, humming a little as they kissed. Dorian loved that they had reached this point, sharing easy kisses in bed together. He had never really had this before. He had never really allowed his relationships to get past the dating stage, had never wanted to get this close, before he met John. He put both arms around John and held him close, their kiss turning into a hug which both men seemed quite happy to continue as they snuggled close to each other.

***

They finally left the bed when they got hungry, and after a bathroom stop they ended up in John’s kitchen. John turned his head from where he was spreading some toast with peanut butter for them both. Every time John caught sight of Dorian from a new angle he had to catch his breath. Dorian was just... obscene – standing there with one of John’s favorite red mugs in his right hand, the other hand in the pocket of John’s grey sweatpants - slightly too big and a little loose on Dorian’s slim hips.

 “D, how do you do this to me?” John groaned, as Dorian stood there smirking at him. 

“What John?” Dorian asked, his brows furrowed now and a quizzical expression on his face.

“I can’t get through five minutes without needing to kiss you," John told him. He tried to contain himself a minute longer, taking up his own coffee mug and leaning back against the counter while he drank some, staring at Dorian and his lightly hair-dusted chest over the rim of his mug. "Mmmmmm," he murmured, because of his coffee, but mostly because of Dorian.

Broad shouldered, beautifully toned torso, perfectly defined muscles along his arms and across his chest, leading to a tapered waist - the guy was just so hot and John wanted to wrestle him to the floor and sink his fingers into that beautiful hair, run his tongue along the ridges of Dorian’s muscles. John wanted to slide those pants all the way down from those prominent hip bones, lick his way up Dorian’s stomach and across his pecs.

Dorian stepped a little closer and John put down his coffee behind him. Dorian reached across and put his mug next to John’s. John felt Dorian’s hands on his hips.

“What about the library?” John whispered.

“Later,” Dorian answered, striking blue eyes flicking between John’s eyes and his lips. John wound his fingers around toned biceps while their mouths came together. Dorian’s lips were parted slightly and he ran one hand up John’s arm, squeezing lightly as he slid his tongue along John’s lower lip. John groaned as he pulled Dorian further into his body, bare chests touching. He felt Dorian’s hand in his hair, gently brushing up and back down his neck. John shivered. He met Dorian’s tongue halfway, licking gently and feeling light-headed from the way Dorian was caressing him.

They pulled back eventually, still holding to each other but with enough distance to be able to look into each other’s eyes again. John was so lost in those eyes. “I made toast,” he said stupidly. He wanted to get his hands into Dorian’s pants again, not talk about toast.

“I know. Can I have some?”

“Sure,” John reached over to the counter and grabbed a slice of it, holding it up between them. Dorian didn’t take it though, he leaned in and bit off a piece, getting some peanut butter on his lip. “Oh God, Dorian please...” John said, as Dorian licked at his lip but missed a little. He grinned and John couldn’t help himself, he pulled Dorian back towards him and kissed him again, licking at his lips and tasting the sweetness, sucking on Dorian’s bottom lip while their bodies pressed closer together. It didn’t look like they were going anywhere soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter really became a Dorian appreciation. I couldn’t help it after seeing this photo:  
> http://tmblr.co/Z4Ipps1q7mVmn  
> (Hope that link works because the pic is worth it trust me!)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short and fluffy.

“I let the kids mix the paper-mâché. There were lumps of solid flour all over the damn place, it was flaking off those cardboard robots faster than they could paint them.”

Dorian watched John’s face closely and laughed as he told his story, he hadn’t been a big fan of school, he still wasn’t really, but at his age he was at least there of his own choosing. Hearing John speak so animatedly about the kids he cared for never failed to make Dorian smile.

“You, er, you still have a little-” he cut himself off, laughing at the number of flecks of hard white stuff in John’s hair. John grinned and ruffled at his hair a bit. Dorian loved John’s carefree attitude to his appearance during work hours.

“I have something for you John,” Dorian told him quietly, he reached into his bag and took out a folded piece of paper. He had been writing a lot, just little bits and pieces, mostly inspired by John’s sketches and just by thinking of himself and John together. He wasn’t quite ready to let John see those yet, but this one he thought was ok. It was fairly short and Dorian felt safe, although his thumping heart said otherwise.

John opened the paper and his expression stayed neutral as he read Dorian’s handwriting. After a moment John looked up and met Dorian’s eyes. “Something beautiful did happen,” John whispered, quoting some of Dorian’s words. “This is wonderful Dorian, I love it.”

“It’s all thanks to you, John, since we met, I just feel better, you know?” He shook his head at himself, frustrated beyond belief that once again he had no words to express himself, despite the words spinning around his head, as they always had.

John smiled, reached out and ran his fingertips down Dorian’s cheek. Dorian leaned into his touch. “Mmmm, how long do we have left?” he murmured.

John checked his watch. “Twenty minutes.”

“Can I see you tonight?” Dorian asked, pressing as close to John as was decent on a public bench.

“Yeah,” John answered, and without even looking around them he kissed Dorian, humming a little as their lips touched and Dorian closed his eyes. They stayed close once they’d parted, Dorian’s stomach leaped each time they kissed or touched. He was so in love it was ridiculous.

Since their last date had ended in a steaming hot shower during which Dorian’s feet barely touched the floor, they hadn’t spent more than a few hours out of contact.

Dorian’s aunt Shara was due home tomorrow and so they had one last night alone in his home, not that Shara would mind John being there of course, Dorian had told her a little of their developing relationship - she would have eeked it out of him soon enough anyway and he had no reason to hide anything. But he would still prefer an empty house before things got too heated again, since they tended to be rather vocal. The time on John’s balcony was especially memorable. Maybe Dorian could bring himself to let John read his interpretation of that...

He smiled to himself and moved back a little, placing a hand on John’s knee. “We better get going.”

“Ok,” John said, smiling as he looked to Dorian’s hand and then back into his eyes. “I’ll pick you up outside the library?”

Dorian nodded and briefly kissed his cheek in answer. They stood up and walked back through the park to the front gates, resisting the hand-holding Dorian craved, but giving each other a quick hug before going their separate ways.

***

That evening, after the drive back to Dorian’s house, John brought out the package he had kept on the back seat of his truck.

“What’s this?” Dorian asked.

“I bought us both the new book, wasn’t sure how much you’d got to read recently.”

Dorian opened the brown paper bag and pulled out two copies of Go Set a Watchman. “Thanks man, this is so cool of you,” he said, turning the book over in his hand. He passed the other to John who smiled warmly.

“I’ll do anything to put that smile on your face,” John said, and Dorian looked back to him, a little self-conscious but loving it. Loving John.

They sat together snuggled on the couch just reading, more than content to be together, Dorian could feel it. John’s arm was wrapped around Dorian’s shoulders and they were moulded together as if they had always done this. Every page turn from one of them would be followed shortly by the same from the other. Dorian seemed a little quicker than John but a look over at his book told him they weren’t far off the same page. When John started yawning Dorian closed his book and they looked at each other.

“You enjoying it?” John asked.

“Yeah, but I’m enjoying you more.”

“This is good yeah, I could really get used to this,” John told him, pulling Dorian further into his arms.

He yawned along with John then said, “Bed?”

John nodded and leaned in for a kiss. Dorian groaned when it got a little heated, despite his tiredness. John pushed at him slightly and Dorian warmed at how John’s expressive eyes could melt him with just a look. He got to his feet and offered a hand to John, pulling him up and into his arms. They left the books together on the couch while they made their way slowly to Dorian’s bedroom, lazily sharing kisses and losing clothes along the way.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I regularly mistype 'Dorian' and when I told Gowashthelights (thank you!!) she immediately sparked the idea for this chapter for me with drunk!John and this little gem: “Dorina...wait, what? Dorian that’s it.”

John drove to Dorian’s house on Friday as soon as he had finished at the preschool for the day. He had mixed feelings about how well the day had gone since he’d had to take James to the Emergency Room with a potentially fractured finger, leaving the other three staff with two kids throwing up in the bathroom and the rest of them painting incredibly messy life-size cut outs of themselves to hang on the walls. He was very relieved to see a happier - non-fractured but bandaged - James with his mother and get back to his truck to let Dorian know he was on his way.

Dorian was already home, he had been getting supplies and cleaning the house ready for Shara to come home. John had given him a list of healthy stuff to get so he could cook for them both.

When he stopped outside Dorian’s house he sounded the horn, wishing he could go in and they could have just a few minutes alone. He couldn’t help it, always wanting to be as close to Dorian as possible. It had only been two weeks but he had never felt like this so quickly. And he had never felt so close to anyone before Dorian.

Dorian gave a little wave as he opened his front door and John’s face instantly lit up in response. He had not smiled and laughed so much, outside of his classroom, for years. Dorian came out with a backpack and what must be one of Shara’s warm jackets. John jumped out even though he was parked illegally and opened the trunk, helping Dorian with the bag. “Such a gentleman, John.”

John pulled Dorian in for a swift kiss. “I can’t help myself,” he said, meaning the chivalry and the kisses. Dorian just grinned and held on until John had to prise himself away. “Let’s go before I have to drag you back inside the house,” John told him, and they got into the truck, hands linking together as soon as they were settled.

***

“I can manage boys, you don’t need to fuss,” Shara told them, as they escorted her through the hospital.

“We’re not fussing Auntie, this is called helping,” Dorian replied.

She smiled up at him and then turned to John. “Thank you both for coming, this really means a lot.”

“It’s no problem ma’am, honestly.”

“I’ve told you John, it’s Shara, only strangers get away with calling me ma’am.” It was still going to take him time to get used to that, she was already welcoming John into their lives. He watched as Dorian helped Shara with her coat and admired him even more for how much he cared for her. John knew Dorian had found it hard with his aunt in the hospital, but he hoped he had been able to take Dorian’s mind from it for a little while at least.

They got back home fairly quickly considering the Friday evening traffic and John took the bags in while Dorian pretended not to help Shara down from the truck. John left them catching up in the living room while he started on dinner, and was slicing potatoes when he felt warm arms snake around his chest.

“John, you are the best. I’m so lucky to have you. I would have just got takeout.”

“Yeah, well that’s why I’m here,” John said, then turned around in Dorian’s arms and kissed him. “Not the only reason though,” he amended.

“D’you need a hand?” Dorian murmured, hands travelling up and down John’s back.

“Not right now, you go, be with your aunt. I know you’ve missed her.”

“Thanks, John.” John flushed with warmth as Dorian kissed him back and brushed gentle fingers over his cheek as he pulled away.

***

They ate at the kitchen table, Dorian thinking it best to be inside for the night, despite Shara’s insistence that she was fine and that she’d have liked to sit in her garden. “Tomorrow, when the sun’s up,” Dorian told her.

Shara gave him a look and he grinned, not used to telling his aunt what to do but actually kind of enjoying it for once. It wasn’t the only look she gave him through the evening, every time John spoke Dorian could feel Shara’s eyes on him. Dorian could hardly help staring, not with John so close, so kind and with the most beautiful voice he had ever known. But he knew Shara was going to have something to say when they were alone.

Dorian walked John to the front door when it was time, he desperately wanted him to stay, like always, but John thought he should go, leave them in peace for Shara’s first night back home. Dorian couldn’t really argue with that, but he gave John a kiss to remember before saying goodnight.

It took all of five minutes before the subject came up. “You two have gotten closer these last few days,” Shara told him with a smile.

Dorian just nodded, wishing he had a book in his hands in case he needed to hide.

“I know you, Dorian, I know you’ve not had this before.” Dorian went to stand up but Shara held up a hand. “Wait, please, just give me a minute.” Dorian reluctantly stayed where he was but felt himself pushing further back into the couch, tense feet pressed to the floor. “He’s good for you, I can see that, anyone could. I just wanted to tell you to relax, don’t think too much. He’s obviously smitten with you too.”

“Oh God, seriously?” Dorian put his head in his hands, but he was smiling.

“Ok, well that’s it, that’s all I have to say.”

Dorian peeped through his fingers. “Hmm, ok, well thanks,” he muttered, feeling like a kid. He took his hands away after a moment. “You really think he likes me that much?”

“Oh Dorian, please, that man is besotted. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s asking you to move in and marry him before the year’s out.”

“Nope that’s it, I’m going to bed,” Dorian replied, laughing as he stood up. He made sure Shara didn’t need any help before he went off to lie down, to try to forget about that conversation, and any ideas of the future he may have now firmly taking root in his mind.

He smiled and his heart leapt as he lay in bed and heard a message on his phone.

\- Catch up with you tomorrow. Sweet dreams D x -

The next evening Shara stayed at home with a close friend visiting, and Dorian knew she would be fine. He walked into town, eager to spend the evening with John, but he also couldn’t wait to get back to John’s place already. They met in the same bar of their first proper date and as with that first time it didn’t take long before they were both laughing and tipsy and stumbling out to the street together. John took Dorian’s hand and they stole drunken kisses as they made their way back home. They didn’t even care when they heard whistles as they walked by the park.

Finally, they arrived at John’s house and fell into each other in the lobby, kissing on the stairs, hands in each other’s pants before John had even found his keys. Dorian nudged John against the front door and they kissed sloppily, failing at getting either pants or the door open for several minutes.

When they were finally inside they went out to the balcony and John opened another bottle which they shared as they got cozy on the lounger. John’s fingers found their way unsteadily to Dorian’s shirt and Dorian reached for John’s buttons until John slurred out, “Dorina... wait, what? _Dorian_ that’s it.”

“John, what did you call me?” Dorian asked, eyes widened in mock horror. “Oh my God, John...”

“Dor-i-an, I said, _Dorian_ ,” John told him, grinning, and Dorian just couldn’t stop the giggles overflowing.

“It’s not like my name is that complicated, man,” Dorian cried through his laughter.

“I am not admitting anything right now, you are _drunk_ ,” John told him, wagging a finger. That just made Dorian laugh harder and he doubled over, resting a hand on John’s knee to keep him from falling to the floor.

“At least I’m still coherent, _Joan_ ,” he deadpanned once he’d calmed a little.

“Oh really? We need to see how co-hes- co... whatever you are after I’ve kissed you within an inch of your life,” John said, moving slowly closer to Dorian, but he waited until Dorian gave the nod that he was good with that idea, even inebriated John was still a gentleman. After a few more fumbled kisses on the balcony they ended up in a lazy cuddle and when it started to get cold Dorian eased away and pulled John to his feet.

“Let’s go to bed,” he whispered.

“Yeah,” John said, nodding against his cheek.

They cuddled under the covers, hands sliding across each other’s warming bodies, but it didn’t go any further, John was asleep before long and Dorian happily closed his eyes and drifted, safe and warm in John’s arms.

He was jostled the next morning by John sitting bolt upright beside him. “Oh,” John said.

“Mornin’” Dorian murmured, tugging John back down to him sleepily.

John kissed him, seeming to wake up pretty quickly now. “D,” he murmured between kisses. “I think I fell asleep.”

“Um... yeah,” Dorian said. “We both did, don’t worry about it.” More kissing and Dorian found himself under John’s solid, heated body, an arm wrapped under his back, holding him close, the other exploring Dorian’s lower half in a most unsleepy way. John seemed reluctant to move, to stop kissing but he did eventually, leaving Dorian breathing heavily, already writhing under John, and as he realized that John was headed for his cock he eased into a relaxed stretch, groaning as his body was awoken so intensely. John sucked him straight in and Dorian shouted out and clutched at the headboard. John held him around the waist, squeezing lightly as he slid his mouth up and down, running his tongue firmly over the underside of Dorian’s cock and teasing the head with his lips each time. Dorian felt it coming in waves as he was engulfed over and over by John’s incredible mouth. “John... oh _shit_ ,” Dorian cried out, gripping the bed for all he was worth to avoid shoving into John’s mouth, and writhing under John’s spread palms. John sucked harder, not letting up until Dorian had finished, swallowing it all down and popping off with a huge grin. “Oh fuck, John,” Dorian said, chest heaving, voice rough. “That’s... not bad... for 6am, man.”

“I dreamed about you, about doing that to you. It was even more beautiful in the flesh,” John murmured, kissing Dorian again and Dorian opened his lips to him and swirled his tongue inside John’s mouth, tasting himself and groaning again. His hand went to John’s underwear and rubbed along the rock hard length of his cock. “What now?” he asked.

“Can I fuck you?” John whispered, looking deep into his eyes.

Dorian nodded eagerly. “Yeah, just give me a minute?”

John smiled and they kissed again until Dorian really did need to get up to use the bathroom. John joined him after a moment and when they’d both cleaned up a bit Dorian launched himself at John again and they stumbled back to the bedroom. John lifted him into his arms and Dorian’s legs immediately wrapped around his waist as John shoved him to the wall. Dorian ‘oofed’ as his back hit and he was pinned between his man and the painted brick.

“John,” he huffed, clutching to his broad shoulders, dragging his nails along the curves and ridges of muscle. He kissed at John’s neck and John shifted one hand under his ass, holding him up with just that arm as his other hand pressed the wall by Dorian’s head. The thought of that strength made Dorian instantly hard. 

He entwined his feet around John’s lower back and John’s fingers found their way to Dorian’s lips. John smirked and Dorian’s heart thudded almost painfully. He could feel John’s solid cock nudging against his ass. John ran his thumb over Dorian’s lower lip and Dorian licked at it, groaning as John slid his fingers over his tongue. Dorian sucked them eagerly into his mouth, swirling his tongue over them, before biting down gently. John pressed him closer to the wall, and removed his fingers, sliding them down the sensitive skin of Dorian’s throat a little way, tracing over his body before eventually touching them to Dorian’s hole. Dorian gasped and his whole body clenched around John as his lover circled and pressed and teased before gradually easing inside.

Dorian had thought John might bring him flowers or make him dinner again, but this was... this was awesome. “Fuck, John, man you gotta get in me, need to feel you-”

John cut him off with a kiss and a further push of his fingers, grazing over Dorian’s prostate. Dorian almost bit John’s tongue. His muffled cry of pleasure had John stroking again and again until Dorian knew he was going to come any moment if John didn’t let up. He did not want John to stop though. His cock was leaking and sliding between their bodies, John’s was still right there against his balls and Dorian wanted to touch, to kiss. But he couldn’t even think straight as John pressed his fingers to exactly the right spot and it was all over. Dorian gave a long, drawn out “Fuck,” as he came all over their stomachs. He still clung to John and John didn’t show any signs of releasing him, his fingers stayed in place and he was looking at Dorian as if the stars were there in his eyes.

“Dorian,” John whispered. “I need you,” he said, and it seemed as if different words had been there on his tongue, but it was all that Dorian needed in that moment. John slipped his fingers clear and hugged both arms around Dorian’s body as he stepped back from the wall. “Hold onto me,” he said roughly, and walked them over to the bed.

Through his haze of double orgasm before breakfast, Dorian realized that John hadn’t come once yet and practically threw himself down the bed to rectify that by sucking John’s cock between his lips and grasping hold with one hand, the thick shaft bobbing against the roof of his mouth as he sucked and licked and slowly rubbed his hand along any remaining flesh. John’s sounds of pleasure filled the quiet room and Dorian hummed along with him and ran his free hand under John’s ass to find his hole and slip a finger inside. He had a feeling he would never be able to make John feel the way he did when he was on top, but he was giving it his best shot. Within a few more moments John tensed in Dorian’s arms and his cries got louder until he came down Dorian’s throat with a drawn out groan and with his hands digging pleasantly into Dorian’s shoulders.

They lay beside each other, just breathing. Dorian heard himself whisper, “John, how did this happen?” _I am so in love with you_ , he thought. For some reason the words didn’t come, and Dorian reached up and pulled their faces together, seeking more kisses in place of words.


	13. Chapter 13

“Rudy, a little help over here?” John called out, he had a small child at arm’s length, surrounded by others who were waiting to stand in the paint tray for footprints, and others who were already in it. The child at the end of John’s arms had sat down in the tray of paint and then tried to get up. He was covered and John was trying to save himself.

Rudy’s head popped up from where he was perched on the tiny yellow chair beside a group practising their letters. “Oh, ok John, hang on a sec.” He left the kids he was with and hopped over to John.

“Could you just... help me here Rudy? I have this little paint problem,” John said, jiggling the boy a little in his hands, making him laugh. Just as he handed the first off to Rudy who was already covered in glue and sequins, another kid slipped into the paint and the lot of them fell about giggling. There was no chance of John avoiding it now. One day he’d remember to bring a full change of clothes to work. For now he’d just have to scrape off the worst of it after this catastrophe of an art project. He really did love his job.

He could see and hear Rudy laughing at him from the other side of the room as he pointlessly washed his hands. John was just a little distracted today but this was helping to keep him cheerful. He thought about Dorian and their conversation last night. They hadn’t seen each other as much as John would have liked for a few days, Dorian had needed to spend time studying and John had been prepping for the pre-school autumn fair. They had been able to meet for lunch, John couldn’t imagine a day where he didn’t go to find Dorian on their bench and sit and chat for half an hour, it was his favorite time of the day.

So they had been on speaker phone to each other as much as possible, but last night Dorian had been a little sad, worried about Aunt Shara’s scare, and with them being so close - what would he ever do without her?

_“D, you’ve got me, I’m here for you.” He didn’t want to say what was on his lips over the phone so he kept it light._

_“John, I... I know. I think we need to talk about that.”_

_John’s chest tightened painfully at those words, thinking that Dorian was about to break up with him. He managed to wait for more before he jumped to any conclusions._

_“We should talk about where we’re going,” Dorian continued. “Don’t you think?”_

_“Yes,” John said firmly. He had definite ideas about what he wanted, he wondered what Dorian was thinking._

So they were meeting at the end of the day for drinks and dinner with Rudy and then John wanted to take Dorian home. But for now he had this mess to clear up. They were still laughing at each other as they handed the kids off to their parents at 3.30pm. Dorian was going to have hysterics when he saw them both.

As they walked to John’s truck Rudy began asking more questions, about Dorian, how John felt about him. “You know you’ve never even spoken to me about dating before,” Rudy told him.

“Yeah, I know,” John said. “But this time is different. Dorian’s the one.”

“Wow John, this is a really big day for you, talking about your feelings, taking a friend to meet your man? What next... have you bought a ring?”

John looked sidelong at him, unsure for a moment if Rudy was playing with him. He was looking back seriously though so John nodded. “Yeah, I do have one. Do you think it’s too soon?”

“Woah... I don’t know about these things. I mean there are plenty of women around, you know me right?” John smiled indulgently as Rudy’s words ran along quickly - Rudy had an interesting dating history. “But getting tied down to one person? That’s not really me. So I’m not the best person for advice here, I mean –”

“Rudy, it’s ok, really, I just wanted to tell someone, you don’t have to give me advice. Well, maybe at least until you meet him.”

“You’ve not told anyone else? What about your family?”

“I will do, but it’s early days, I want to know how Dorian feels first before I tell Mom.”

John spotted Dorian outside the bar as he pulled up on the other side of the street. He was standing with some others, talking animatedly, laughing, just being Dorian. John loved him so much. He had admitted it to himself already, now he had to try to tell Dorian.

They walked over to the small group and Dorian immediately looked up at his name. “John, hey.” Dorian pulled John in for a hug and John flushed with warmth, then they turned to Rudy and made introductions. After a few words between them, Dorian introduced each of his friends. They were heading on though and after a couple of minutes John, Dorian and Rudy went inside to find a table.

John left them talking while he got the drinks, soft for now since it was early. He wanted to share Dorian with everyone, and was glad that they were getting on. At the same time he wanted to be selfish and spend time only the two of them. He thought they were getting the balance about right.

Dorian was laughing as John returned, Rudy looked caught up in a story and John could only imagine what it was about, until he reached the table and Dorian looked him over, clearly seeing the state of his clothes and Rudy said, “Yeah, Dorian was just asking about what we were up to today. I’m afraid I had to tell him.”

“I didn’t like to mention it, but you both look like you’ve come out of a paint factory today,” Dorian told them.

“Yeah, well, maybe it was a bit ambitious. But the kids had fun, that’s what counts,” John said setting down the drinks and sitting beside Dorian, placing a hand on his knee.

Dorian grinned at him, put an arm around his waist and John melted. This was something else, to be able to share their affections in public like this, it was beautiful. He knew Rudy was watching him and he loved it actually, loved that a friend was seeing them together, it made it even more real.

They talked, drank and laughed. John could tell how much Rudy already liked Dorian’s company, they even shared a pizza, while John ordered his with a ramen noodle base. While they laughed together at his choice he told them to shut up - “What? I like to try new things!”

Later John tried in vain to clean some more of the paint off in the bathroom until Dorian came in and giggled at him until he stopped.

“Do you wanna get out of here John?” Dorian asked as they covertly shared a kiss. “Those clothes could be on your bedroom floor in about fifteen minutes.” John nodded but had to laugh at Dorian’s line. “Too cheesy?” Dorian asked and John kissed him again, before tearing himself away.

“I’ll see you outside D.”

Rudy wasn’t drinking alcohol and so he drove them back to John’s place before going on home, he’d bring the truck back in the morning.

Dorian and John went up the stairs in as much of a hurry as they safely could. It was becoming a bit of a habit, this slightly drunken stumble up to John’s apartment. John’s clothes were on the bathroom floor pretty quickly and Dorian’s followed before they shared a long shower together.

Later on they lay curled around each other in John’s bed and he tried to think of anything other than the words that were desperate to escape. _I love you, marry me_. They needed to talk first.

“D, what do you think about living together?”

Dorian lifted up a bit and looked into John’s eyes. John’s heart melted as per usual while he waited for a response.

“Me and you?” Dorian asked quietly.

John nodded, swallowing hard.

“Yeah, absolutely, I mean I’d love that, it’s all I can think about to be honest, you’re all I think about.” He paused very briefly but John couldn’t get a word in. “Oh, but shit, I mean, what do you think about it?”

John laughed and hugged Dorian close. “I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I didn’t want the same. I want to be with you all the time.”

“Oh thank God,” Dorian breathed out as he pulled away and looked into John’s eyes. He kissed him hard and pushed John down into the mattress. John just let it happen, forever turned on by Dorian’s strength and passion.

 When they separated John had something else to ask. “But where would we live?”

Dorian’s face fell. “Oh, well, I mean, I love your place John, but Aunt Shara... I – I guess we’ve got some talking to do.”

“Don’t worry about it now, we’ll work on it. I just needed to know if we were on the same page.”

“We are John, this is- you- you’re everything to me man.” There were tears in his eyes and John pulled him close again.

“D, don’t do that, it’s good, this is good,” he told him kissing his forehead.

“Mmmhmmm,” Dorian murmured. They settled down in each other’s arms, John feeling content knowing how happy (if a little emotional, but he loved that) Dorian was.

He was still awake when Dorian’s eyes closed and he stroked the side of his face, gently tangling one leg over Dorian’s, entwining them. “I love you,” he whispered to his sleeping Dorian.

By the next morning the words were still bubbling up, he was desperate to do this right though. He’d never felt this strongly and he had plans. He maybe needed a little more time for some of those plans.

They had breakfast and talked a little about how, logistically, they could live together, how they would broach the subject with Shara, even though she had actually mentioned it to Dorian already. Dorian hadn’t been in a position to think about it then. So there was concern about that, about what she would think, if it was too soon to be thinking about this at all. But Dorian made it clear to John that he was definitely on board.

John answered the door buzzer and Rudy’s voice came through, cheerily wishing them a ‘good morning’. “Come up Rudy,” John told him and left the door ajar for him while he went to let Dorian know they had company. He was pulling on a shirt and John reached for him and hugged him around the waist before he could get it all the way on. Dorian turned around in John’s arms, smiling as always and John smirked as he leaned in to sneak a kiss. Dorian’s lips always got him instantly hot. He groaned and tightened his hold while he felt Dorian’s hands grabbing his ass.

Then Rudy’s voice came from the hall and Dorian shoved John away, wide-eyed. John couldn’t help but laugh. “John!” Dorian cried.

“Sorry, I tried to tell you he was here,” John said.

“You tried to tell me? Is that what your tongue was doing.” Dorian straightened himself out and John left him with an apologetic kiss on the cheek.

The first thing Rudy said was, “So John, have you asked him yet?”

“Rudy,” John hissed checking over his shoulder for Dorian. “No, not yet, but we’ve spoken about some other stuff.”

“Oh right... Hi Dorian, I hope John’s been treating you well this morning?”

John looked at him wide-eyed, eyebrows raised, sometimes he was like a crazy uncle who just had no control between mind and mouth. “Of course I am. Dorian, I am right?” he implored turning to see Dorian there.

“Of course he is, thanks for your concern though Rudy. Did you have a good evening?”

“Oh, yes, thanks Dorian, I did actually, had a few things to catch up with, chatted with a lady friend, you know how it is... oh or maybe not, of course, sorry, but well, with John though-”

“Rudy, can I get you a coffee?” John said loudly as Dorian chuckled beside him.

“Uh, no, no thanks, I’d better get going,” Rudy turned back to the front door then turned a full circle, “Oh, here are your keys John.”

“Thanks for driving us last night Rudy, it was great to meet you man,” Dorian told him and held out his hand which Rudy shook with a shy smile.

“You too Dorian, I hope to see more of you, maybe another night out?” he said looking between John and Dorian.

“Of course Rudy,” John told him and they said their goodbyes.

John leaned back on the door after he had gone. “I’m glad you get along,” he said.

“He seems very sweet, thank you for introducing us, it means a lot to me that you would do that.”

John wanted everyone to know Dorian so he had no problems with introducing him, the fact was that he didn’t have that many friends so it wasn’t going to take long. That’s just the way he liked it, a few close friends was how it had always been.

That evening they were watching a movie, just lazing together on John’s couch. Dorian left him with a kiss while he went to the kitchen for more drinks and John pulled out a postcard-sized notebook. Inside were pages of Dorian’s words interspersed with John’s sketches and the front cover was a black and white photo of the two of them laughing together. In a way looking at it now it felt like the cheesiest thing John could do, but he was still going to do it.

Dorian came back and set down the glasses and then sat as close to John as he could without actually sitting in his lap. Then he noticed what John was holding and John handed it over.

“This is for you D,”

“John,” Dorian said, smiling at him over the cover and then opening it up. He stared and John could see his eyes roaming over his own words and then studying the sketches which went along with each piece. “This is beautiful man, thank you, I’ve not seen any of these. Were you saving them up?”

“Yeah, every time you gave me something I did my own.”

“I love it.”

“I love you,” John said.

Dorian’s head snapped up. “You do?” he asked. John just nodded and then Dorian threw his arms around John and engulfed him with kisses. “I love you John,” he finally gasped out, hands on John’s shoulders. “I’ve been waiting to tell you, but I didn’t know if it was moving too fast or, you know, in case you didn’t feel it I guess-” John stopped him this time, pulling at his lover and kissing him as they wrapped their arms around each other.

“I know D, I’m sorry. I’ve felt it since we met, I just didn’t want to freak you out.” It was all John could have hoped for and his plans could wait, he had never felt so content - they loved each other and they were together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All they need is love. But John still has his ring though so there's more to come :D


	14. Chapter 14

John stared at the phone in his hand, hardly believing that he’d just had that conversation. Dorian had called on a very bad line, sounding upset and John could only make out enough of his words to know that he was way out in the middle of nowhere, at his parents’ restaurant. Not the few blocks away at his aunt’s place as John had imagined. They wouldn’t be getting together today because Dorian had to stay there to take care of some things. For a month.

A month? John was lucky to go five minutes without thinking of Dorian, they saw each other almost every day, and he was already feeling as if he was barely surviving being detached from his Dorian overnight. And now this... _something_ , was going on. He got dressed on autopilot, made a coffee and grabbed a banana on his way out the door. He had to speak to Dorian again but he knew he’d have to wait now until he got another call.

This would be a long day.

***

“Mom can’t handle it all by herself, I have to stay until Dad’s back on his feet.”

John wanted to blurt out that Dorian’s Dad didn’t deserve him, he hadn’t even spoken to his son for months, after being so pissed that Dorian had left once already to live his own life. John kept his feelings to himself for Dorian’s sake.

“You’re a good son Dorian, I hope they appreciate you.”

“Yeah, Mom’s glad I’m here. I miss you John, I don’t know when I’ll get a chance to see you again and this is killing me.”

John stopped himself again, withheld the cry of pain that was edging its way up his throat at the thought of not seeing and feeling Dorian for the foreseeable future.

“I’m sorry,” Dorian whispered.

“No, D, don’t apologize, not your fault at all.”

“I’ve let the college know, they’re leaving my place open. I didn’t know if they would do that.”

John’s heart was thudding. Oh God, Dorian’s hard work all going to shit, this was the worst. “Oh, ok that’s good, yeah.”

“John,” Dorian said softly. “I am sorry, I wish there was another way but, right now, I can’t see it. I just need to hold this down until his treatment’s finished and I can get home.”

 _Home_. That helped. Dorian felt his home was here, whether with John or more probably his aunt, it didn’t matter. Home being in the same town as John was good. “I love you, don’t forget it ok?”

“Love you, John.”

John closed his eyes and when Dorian ended the call he held the phone to his chest and lay still while he tried to imagine that he was there beside him.

***

They tried to talk as much as they could each day; John tried to focus on eating lunch on their bench, but not even the views over to the bay could distract from Dorian’s absence and the fact that he was most likely eating his lunch at his Dad’s restaurant and maybe not even able to read his beloved books. They Skyped each night but Dorian was so tired after such long wait shifts that he found it hard to stay awake long enough to ease the loneliness for either of them.

John had never been into long-distance things but he would totally do it for Dorian. Still, the idea of sexy times via phone or laptop was awkward, especially from Dorian’s point of view. He had lived with his aunt of course, but at least he had his privacy there, currently he was living in his old bedroom in his parents’ home. He had no space and not enough privacy to be able to easily ‘interact’ with John.

It was a shitty situation and after the first few weeks John still didn’t know how he could change it, but he knew he had to do something.

The weekend arrived and found John in his truck making an early morning road trip to see his man. He arrived at 10am and brought out his breakfast hamper, taking it up to the restaurant front and pushing open the door with his foot. Possibly not the best first impression to make on the woman standing just inside the door.

“Can I help you, sir?” a petit lady with a hard voice but soft blue eyes asked, as John stepped partway inside.

“Uh, hi.” He hefted his load under one arm and stuck out his other hand. “John Kennex, I'm here for Dorian?” he said.

The woman took his hand in hers for a brief shake and called over her shoulder, “Dorian! You have a visitor.” Then she said more quietly, “You won’t be able to keep him for long, we’re very busy, there’s a lot of preparation to do today.”

John frowned a little and wondered why she couldn’t be a little more civil to her customers, but then a familiar figure stepped into view and John’s heart made a happy leap. “D,” he said, almost laughing at the relief he felt.

“John! What are you doing here?” Dorian said, placing a hand on the lady’s shoulder. “Mom, this is John, I’ve told you about him.” He smiled, but his mother didn’t seem as happy by the situation and reluctantly moved away, leaving them alone for the first time in so many weeks.

“D, come here,” John said, and put his free arm around Dorian’s neck, pulling him into a hug.  “God, I’ve missed you so much,” he murmured into his hair.

When they pulled back John let his hand linger at Dorian’s waist for only a moment, he wasn’t certain at all as to how much Dorian could handle here at his parents’ place.

“I’ve missed you too, John,” Dorian said with a sad smile, and John wanted to kiss him, take him away, take him back to their little life with books and benches.

If Dorian could do both this, supporting his family business and live his own life at the same time, then John wouldn’t have a problem, if Dorian was happy. But to have left school, to have cut back his own life so much for this. It wasn’t fair.

“It’s ok, I’m ok,” Dorian told him quietly, as if John had spoken aloud. He supposed the scowl he had worn pretty solidly for the past month and a half didn’t leave much to the imagination.

“Can we get out of here for a while?” he asked. “I brought us lunch, early lunch,” he amended checking his watch and shaking his head in frustration. “Damn it, this feels so stupid, I just needed to see you.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Dorian said, brows creasing as he looked behind him at the tables to lay and fresh linen to be unloaded. “I can’t, John, I need to get through this. Can you wait for me? I’ll have a break in a few hours.”

John felt like an asshole already but now even more so - he’d shown up unannounced, not really having a clear idea of what Dorian was dealing with here, and now to have made him feel bad about it... “No, it’s fine, Dorian, of course, you do what you have to do and I’ll... I’ll get a hotel, ok? Give me a call when you’re done?”

“Yes, of course I will,” Dorian said, sighing in relief, shoulders dropping down a little.

John leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “I love you,” he whispered.

“Dorian, what the hell is this?” The voice came from behind John, and he looked around in surprise and slight alarm at the tone being directed at his lover.

“Dad,” Dorian said, and John turned fully to introduce himself, or maybe not when he saw the anger in the man’s eyes.

This man did not resemble his bright, beautiful son in the slightest. He looked about ready to start throwing punches and John didn’t move to let him through the door. He did hold out his hand though. “Mr Anderson,” he said, as politely as he could.

His hand was ignored. “Dorian, get back to work,” Mr Anderson said, but he was looking at John. “You’ve got a lot to answer for,” he said.

John blinked. “Huh?”

“My son does not need distractions from you.”

“Distractions? I’ve done nothing but support him and his education. You should be proud of your son Mr Anderson, he’s a good man. But he needs to live his own life and not be drawn back here to fix yours.”

“How dare you come here and talk to me this way.” The man took a step forward but Dorian’s sharp utterance of his name seemed to stop him.

John waved it off, knowing he had said too much anyway, but he wasn’t willing to apologize. “D, don’t worry about it, I’m going anyway.” He didn’t want to get drawn into this right now, it wasn’t the time when he was so worried about Dorian. He wasn’t sure what else he might say and he didn’t intend to make this worse for Dorian.

He turned to give Dorian’s shoulder a squeeze, the least of what he wanted to do, before turning and easing past the man still looming in the doorway.

****

John was dozing on the bed when a knock stirred him. He leapt up and pulled the door open before he had a chance to even straighten his clothes or check his hair. Dorian stood in the hall, and John threw back the door and smiled widely.

“Hey, John, I made it,” Dorian said, smiling to match John’s but his voice was soft, quiet, and everything about him told John that he was exhausted.  

John reached out and brought him into a hug, letting Dorian’s warmth seep into him. He kissed the top of his head before pulling back and tugging him gently into the room.

“I’m so sorry about my Dad, he shouldn’t have been that way with you.”

“Don’t apologize, D, I understand, really. I was a bit surprised to see him though, is he getting better?”

“No, I’d say not, he just can’t stay away from the place. Even though I’m there now he still has to have control. He’s back in bed now, I tried to get him to stay there but, who knows.”

“Can he not hire someone to take over? Someone other than you, I mean.”

“It wouldn’t be viable, financially. The one guy he did have he had to let go, they only make enough to get by, it has to be family or nothing. And he’s not ready to let go just yet.”

John got Dorian sitting and put the tv remote in his hand in case he wanted to watch something other than a Frasier re-run. Then he made a pizza order and sat beside Dorian on the bed and put his arm around him.

He was devastated, for Dorian - for the education he was giving up, all to make sure his father’s business didn’t go under. A man who had never fully supported his son and had tried to force him into the family business, basically cutting him off when Dorian refused, to concentrate on his own future. And when he thought about the time they were missing out on by Dorian being all the way out here and with no end in sight, he was just crushed.

Dorian drew back his attention by laughing and John smiled, hugging him closer and watching the show along with him. Maybe this was just what they both needed, to be together, doing nothing. When the pizza arrived they ate from the boxes in the middle of the bed and John tried to make Dorian laugh more with stories of the pre-school kids and their shenanigans. At least he could do this for Dorian.

He cleared up after they’d eaten and Dorian lay back on the pillows.

“Thanks for this John, I really needed it, I’ve missed you so much.” John knelt at the edge of the bed and removed Dorian’s boots, smiling at how weak and pliable he was after their food.

“Anytime. If I have to get this hotel room every week, I’ll do it, ok? This doesn’t change anything for us.” Dorian just smiled a little sadly, but he nodded. John settled in beside him on the bed and pulled him into his arms. They were together, and for tonight nothing else mattered.

He closed his eyes as Dorian murmured, “I love you, John, I really love you.”

***

The room was dark when John woke up, and too quiet. He knew before he opened his eyes, Dorian was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

The message came through while John was packing up.

-I meant what I said, I love you. I hope you can wait for me to sort this out-

John’s chest did a painful twist at the thought of Dorian being unsure of John’s feelings. The only thing he was worried about was getting Dorian back to something resembling his recent life. He meant what he said too, nothing was changed between them. He replied quickly with -Distance is just a number D, we can do this-

He laughed aloud when Dorian replied again -That’s profound John, I was gonna say ‘True love will find a way’ but I like yours better-

They could do this. If Dorian could maintain his cheekiness when his whole world was focused now on a life that he had thought was in his past, then John could keep smiling for his sake.

He visited Shara as soon as he was back in the city. Surely she could help her nephew with this. John was engulfed in a tight hug as soon as Shara opened her front door. “John. How is he? How are you?”

“I... can’t... breathe –” John croaked, stepping back gratefully when he was released. “He’s doing ok,” he told once they were inside. “He’s Dorian. Doesn’t look like he’s been sleeping, but otherwise still himself.”

They walked into the kitchen and John was pushed into a chair, a whole cake placed in front of him, which thankfully Shara began to slice up. “And you, John? Are you sleeping?”

“How can I sleep without him? I was going to propose Shara, I need him, I need him here,” John said, before picking up his cake and getting a welcome mouthful of chocolate frosting.

Shara sat beside him and put a hand over his on the table. “Dorian is loyal to his family. You’ve seen how he is with me. He and his father have deep rooted issues, but that boy cannot see family in dire straits.” John just humphed through his mouthful. “Be patient John, that’s what you can do for Dorian right now. We’ll work this out, and you’ll be making that proposal before you know it.”

“So you’ll talk to them?” He had discovered that Shara was Dorian’s aunt on his mother’s side. Maybe together they’d be able to talk Dorian’s father around.

“Of course John, I’ve been involved from the minute Dorian set out of here. I want him back in college, back home. Anthony has no right at all to expect this of his boy.”

“Dorian said he wants his parents to sell up.”

“Yes, exactly what they should do. I won’t have Michele brought to ill health as well because of her husband’s stupidity. She deserves better, just like our Dorian.”

John had to agree, from what little Dorian had told him and from what he had seen yesterday, he was fairly sure Dorian and his mom should just get together and make the decision on behalf of Dorian’s father.

“Why so stubborn?” he wondered aloud.

“He’s always been that way. Thought he was doing the best for his family with that place, but at the end of the day it’s over and he needs to let Dorian live his life now.”

John went home a little more optimistic, and with a smudge of chocolate on his shirt.

He waited for Dorian to call but after he’d eaten some dinner he still hadn’t heard anything and so he sat down on the couch for a while. When the tv let his mind wander too much onto dark thoughts, he picked up his sketch pad from the side table and began to draw. When he was done he had a drawing of his favourite person with a book in his hand. He loved to draw Dorian. He took a photo of it and messaged it to Dorian, hoping it would brighten his day and not seem as if John was pressurizing him.

He slept fitfully but woke up to a reply from Dorian telling John to never stop drawing.

***

As if the longing wasn’t bad enough they began to torture each other with photos. Video chat was generally clothing-based due to where Dorian was living, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t take the occasional shot of himself when he had just left the shower, or when he was lying in bed with his hand in his pants.

John fully encouraged it and usually replied with something similar. Although he was also keen to get Rudy to photograph his worst (and most colorful) moments at work. Dorian never seemed to tire of seeing John with a purple handprint on his cheek or with his ass covered in glitter where he’d sat on a kid’s picture.

He also noticed that Rudy was trying especially hard to draw John out of himself and regularly dragged him out after work so John could relax and try to take his mind off things. He couldn’t help but feel guilty though, since he knew how hard Dorian was working and that during the little downtime he had he was too tired even to do much reading, let alone writing.

He waited. Not so much patiently when he was alone, but whenever he spoke to Dorian he was supportive and never failed to tell Dorian how much he loved him. Their weekly visit became his lifeline and he knew Dorian was always glad to see him. They tried to stay in the here and now and just appreciate the moments they had. Talking about future plans when there was no way to put timescales on anything brought them both down and John made sure to keep things positive, not able to bear his happy, care-free Dorian struggling or worrying that John was suffering in any way.

One Friday night John was early and it would be a couple of hours before Dorian was free, so he took a chance and went to the restaurant, planning on a meal and then he’d take Dorian back to the hotel with him. Dorian’s mother greeted him with slightly less surprise that she had done when they’d first met.

“Hi, ah... Mrs Anderson. Can I get a table?”

“A table for one?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, uh... yes please. I was hoping I’d see Dorian, before his shift was up,” John said, not really sure why he said it, since lusting after her son was probably not the best way to make friends.

“He’ll be out in a few minutes,” Mrs Anderson told him quietly, and offered a slight smile before adding, “He’s always his happiest on Fridays.”

John sighed, both pleased and saddened by that fact. Surely his mother could see that this was a selfish thing they had asked Dorian to do.

Once he was seated John glanced over his menu before looking up and around him. Not exactly heaving with customers but there were a few tables occupied and he supposed it was still early evening. His eye was suddenly caught by the sight of his lover, dressed in tailored black trousers, white shirt and silk purple vest. John had not seen Dorian in his uniform before and as much as he hated this situation, he couldn’t help but want to pull him into a very inappropriate embrace right there.

Dorian stopped at his table and smiled down at him. “You’re early tonight,” he said, face relaxed and smiling, despite the tiredness showing in his eyes.

“Wanted to surprise you,” John said, wanting to stand up, hug him, show him some affection, but not wanting to embarrass him at work. He settled for a whispered, “You look fucking amazing, Dorian.” He watched as Dorian’s chin dipped down and he put a hand to his face, clearing his throat. He was smirking behind his hand.

After a moment, Dorian said, “Great to see you too, John. Can I take your order?”

John refrained from saying the first lewd thing that came to mind and ordered quickly. “What time can I get you out of here?” he added quietly, and their fingers brushed as he handed over the menu.

Dorian narrowed his eyes but the smile was still there, and he said softly, “How about we get your dessert to go?”

John blew out a low whistle. “Yeah, nice plan.” He watched as Dorian walked away to the kitchen, sipping his water in a vague attempt to pretend he wasn’t eyeing Dorian while he waited on other tables. When Dorian came back with John’s meal he leaned in a lot closer than John felt was sensible. John could nearly have leaned in for a kiss. He really wanted to. “D,” he hissed, placing his hand over Dorian’s before he could move away. “This is worse than those photos, whose idea was this?”

Dorian raised an eyebrow and whispered back, “Yours. Now eat up, I’m almost ready for dessert.” Breaths a little uneven, John watched him again as he sauntered off, and tried to concentrate only on his food.

***

Finally, they lay entangled on their hotel bed, John always tried to book the same room to give them a sense of belonging and they always relaxed into each other as soon as the door closed. Dorian seemed happier than he sometimes was and John was waiting to see why.

With a kiss to his forehead Dorian slipped off the bed and into the bathroom. John stretched out to wait for him and closed his eyes. When he heard the door he looked towards it as Dorian emerged and had to swallow hard and press himself into the mattress to stop from launching himself at his lover. Dorian was an impressive figure at any time, but half-naked, leaning on the doorframe, one hand on his hip, clad only in black boxer briefs, well John would never get enough of this view and Dorian would apparently never get enough of allowing John to ogle at him. He was smirking.

“D, would you get over here?”

“I wanted to tell you something John,” Dorian said as he ambled slowly back towards the bed. John was hypnotised by the lines of his body, the muscles in his thighs as they moved under warm skin.

 “Uh huh?” he murmured, trying to concentrate.

“Eyes are up here,” Dorian said, standing by the bed with his groin inches from John’s face.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” John said as he flopped on his back and focussed on his boyfriend’s most adorable face.

“That’s better,” Dorian told him, and he knelt on the bed and straddled John’s thighs. “We’ll get to the good stuff again later, I promise.”

John sighed and tried to avoid grasping Dorian’s hips, knowing he wanted to talk first. “Ok, go ahead, I’m all ears,” he said, hands going up under his head to keep them firmly away.

Dorian smiled widely and placed his hands on John’s chest. “I’m coming home,” he said, before leaning in and kissing John firmly on the lips.

John joined the kiss and grabbed a hold of Dorian’s arms as he pulled himself up a little. When he dragged his lips away from Dorian’s he spluttered, “What? When? How?”

Dorian laughed at him, such a welcome sound that John didn’t even mind he was the reason for it. Dorian could laugh all he wanted – he was coming home?

“A while yet, but not more than another month. He’s selling up.”

“Oh, thank God, you managed to persuade him?”

“Well, with a lot of help from Aunt Shara and Mom yeah. We’ve got through to him. His legacy doesn’t just need to be the restaurant. There’s more to him than that and finally he can see it.”

“A month though?” John said longingly, stroking down Dorian’s cheek.

Dorian laughed again. “We can do it, John, it’s only four more weeks. I can get started on catching up with work, get my place on the course settled again, it’s a good thing.”

“Yeah, yeah D, it is absolutely.” His stomach was making happy twists at the thought of it – coming home – Dorian would be back where he was happiest, back with John. He tugged him down for a gentle kiss before murmuring, “You mentioned the good stuff?”

Dorian beamed at him. “Are you ready for me?” Dorian asked, rubbing their groins together so that John could feel his growing hardness.

“Always,” John told him, and he wasted no time in tucking his hands into those very brief briefs and squeezing a handful of that luscious ass in his palm while Dorian kissed him again and again.


	16. Chapter 16

Dorian had butterflies. They had not spoken since yesterday morning, not been together for three weeks and he had managed to keep his plans quiet. He got on an early flight, using some savings - one perk of saving all his wages for the last six months. He was going to have to hold himself back from splurging on a whole new shelf of books with his spare cash. At least he wouldn’t have to work for this next period of his studies - he was free to catch up with school, with reading, writing and most of all, with John.

He stepped up to Tiny Giants Pre-School entrance and pressed the buzzer. Rudy’s voice answered and he excitedly told Dorian he would be right there. He appeared moments later and opened the front door, grabbing Dorian’s hand and pulling him into a slightly awkward hug. “Welcome back, Dorian. Boy, am I glad to see you. Oh, and of course, I think someone else will be too, uh, yeah. Shall we go in? John’s a bit tied up but once he knows you’re here... How are you Dorian? Glad to be home?” Rudy put his arm around Dorian’s shoulders as they walked and they had reached the door to the main room before Dorian could get a word in, but he couldn’t help smiling. He felt instantly welcome and was so grateful for it.

Rudy nodded to him once he’d tapped in the security code and Dorian raised a slightly unsteady hand to hold the door and follow him through, and then he saw John. He was crouched down with a group of kids who were laughing and pointing at him as John made comical gestures with his hands. He looked ok from the back, hair a bit ruffled, but that was quite normal. When he turned a little to the side Dorian saw that he was wearing what looked to be an elephant mask. And the kids were wearing them too, all multi-coloured and probably still wet with paint if the state of John’s shirt was anything to go by.

Dorian shook his head and chuckled, the sight of his man was enough to lessen the nerves and heighten his excitement at the same time.

John was engrossed in his game until Rudy called to him, and he was still laughing as he turned at the sound of his name. When he saw Dorian he glanced down to see that the kids were ok and then moved quickly across the room, losing the mask on his way. Rudy sidestepped away as Dorian met John halfway and was swept up into a sticky rainbow hug.

“Dorian,” John breathed. When he finally put him down John didn’t let go, but held him at arm’s length, searching his face intently as if trying to see if Dorian had changed at all. He looked tired that was all, but John knew that anyway. He just needed to sleep in John’s arms for a week and he’d be fine.

He smiled. “I hope you don’t mind me turning up like this, Rudy thought it’d be ok.”

“You never have to worry about that, D, are you kidding?” John told him, and before Dorian could blink John pulled him into a kiss. It was a moment later that Dorian realised Rudy was leading the class of little kids in cheers and applause, and he was pretty sure he would be forever embarrassed by this, but he didn’t care – if John was happy, Dorian was happy.

 ***

“Hold still,” Dorian said, “I don’t want to get this in your eye.”

“Why did I agree to this?” John grumbled for the hundredth time.

“Because Rudy is our friend and this is for him as much as me, he’s been planning this party for weeks.” Dorian’s voice was soft and calm as he worked so close to John’s face. His lips were close enough for John to inch forward and kiss, but if he did that he’d almost certainly end up with eye liner stuck in his eye and a cross boyfriend to deal with. Dorian was so happy with this whole ‘Welcome Back Dorian/Happy Birthday Rudy’ party thing that John couldn’t really begrudge him anything.

Their lives had returned to normal, to the routine of work, school, travelling home together, and spending basically every spare minute in each others’ arms. John was desperate to ask his question now that they were settled again, but there was no way he was getting down on one knee in this outfit. He was not having memories of his proposal involving him wearing makeup, leather pants and a pink t-shirt.

“There, finished,” Dorian said, and finally he leaned in that little extra bit and oh-so-gently touched his lips to John’s.

John breathed out a sigh. “Hmmmm, can we just stay here a little longer?”

“No,” Dorian said. “You’ll smudge your makeup. And you need to do me now,” he added with a wink.

John shook his head. “As soon as we get back D, if we can wait that long,” he promised.

Dorian smiled. “My face, John, come on, we don’t have long and I need to change my clothes.”

John stood up with a huff and motioned for Dorian to sit on the stool instead. “Ok, let’s do this and get it over with.”

John opened the facepaint pallet he’d brought home from work and took up one of the tiny brushes he would normally use for fine detail on a canvas. Right now, Dorian was his canvas. He moved his sketch closer for reference and dipped the brush, placed a gentle hand over Dorian’s cheek to keep him steady and moved in close to his lover’s skin so he could get to work. The first stroke of turquoise against Dorian’s brown skin was a beautiful thing. By the second line Dorian was clearly struggling to keep still and John stroked his cheek bone with his thumb. “You ok?” he asked. “This can’t be as bad as you drawing round my actual eyeball.”

“It tickles, John,” Dorian said, and his soft words and shy smile were too much.

John kissed him again.

Twenty minutes later, Dorian had an intricate pattern of painted electronic lights across his cheekbone and John put the final brush stroke onto his skin and sat back, elbow resting on his knee while he studied his work.

“Well?” Dorian said. “Can I take a look?”

John looked him over again, then snatched a quick kiss before standing and nodding.

Dorian stood up and moved across to the full length mirror on John’s wardrobe. “Wow,” he said, as John came to stand alongside him.

John met his blue eyes in the mirror and swallowed hard. “Yeah, just what I was gonna say.”

Dorian turned to look at him again with a broad smile. Then his brow creased as he took in John’s face and he asked, “Are you happy with yours? I know it’s not your usual look, but-”

John put his hands on Dorian’s hips and tried to avoid pushing him up against the mirror and kissing him again. “I love what you’ve done, Dorian. I think I look like...” He took another peak in the mirror over Dorian’s shoulder. “Like a 70’s punk rocker, I guess.”

Dorian tweaked at the spikes he’d styled into John’s hair. “You look hot,” he told him, and John did a double take in the mirror.

He huffed. “Yeah, well your pretty robot cheeks are better. Well, one cheek,” John amended, kissing Dorian’s other cheek and slowly moving his lips up and along to his ear.   

“Mmmm, John...” Dorian murmured, while John continued to kiss down to his neck. “We need to get going,” he whispered.

“I know,” John said, but he couldn’t stop.

Dorian had to extricate himself in the end and John took a minute before grabbing the long black leather coat they’d found in the thrift store that morning. He pulled it on while he watched Dorian change into the black trousers and black button-down of the police uniform he’d hired.

“Oh God, Dorian, did you have to get such a... well-fitted uniform?”

“It has a hat,” Dorian told him. “And handcuffs,” he added, and John threw up his hands in defeat, turning away to the door while Dorian laughed at him.

“Come on then, Robocop,” he said, “Let’s get out of here.”

***

They got a cab to the bar Rudy had hired out for the evening, and Rudy greeted them in the roped-off area he had reserved, complete with private bar, for his party. His arms opened wide, grin on his face as he showed off his sleek black suit, complete with vest, and felt fedora with a ribbon trim that John had never seen anyone wearing, let alone his normally very casual friend.

“Amazing,” Dorian said as he admired the outfit, and John tried to think of something to say that didn’t involve him sounding like he didn’t want to be there.

“You guys look great. John, how many times have you refused to let me paint your face with the kids? And now you’re wearing eyeliner? I love it. And Dorian, I don’t know what to say, A-plus for effort.” Rudy put an arm around both their shoulders and led them past several occupied tables to the bar at the back.

Rudy stepped behind the bar and picked up a cocktail shaker in one hand and a bottle of spirit in the other, tossing it up in the air and catching it again perfectly. “What can I get you?”

Dorian chuckled and John suddenly wished he hadn’t had wine with lunch. Rudy the mixologist sounded dangerous.

Later, on their third cocktails, and having caught up with Rudy, they stood at the bar and watched the room together. John was relaxed enough not to care anymore about his outfit or anything other than the presence of his most beautiful Dorian beside him. He had his arm loosely around Dorian’s waist, elbow propped on the bar behind them.

“John,” Dorian said after a few moments, John leaned in and kissed behind his ear, because he could.

“Yeah?” he whispered, nuzzling his nose into Dorian’s soft hair.

“We should... mingle.”

“I don’t do mingling,” John said.

“I know, but we should try it, for Rudy, don’t you think?”

“Rudy is over there,” John said, looking up and motioning with his drink to where their friend sat at a table with three women who all seemed to be hanging on every word he said. “He is doing great.”

Dorian laughed and slipped an arm into John’s. “One more drink, ok? We didn’t get dressed up to spend all night thinking about getting back home.”

John eyed him suspiciously. “That was just me?” he said and Dorian just smiled. “Ok, ok, one more drink. But then I’m getting us out of here. We need to test those handcuffs.”

Dorian nearly spat his drink. “What the hell is in that drink, John?”

***

John took several deep breaths as he walked slowly up and down by the Lafayette Park entrance on the corner of Washington and Gough. He had planned this out so often that now he had over-thought it all and was trying to stave off the panic that Dorian wouldn’t be ready, and that John was going to ruin what they had by even asking.

But he was going to do it. He had Dorian back after more than half a year. There was no way he was going to let things slide at this point.

He took a final calming breath and got moving, taking the steps two at a time because now he was worried Dorian would be gone by the time John made it to their bench.

Dorian was there, reading, and John was still so happy to see him home again that every day was lovely to just sit beside him and watch him read. Actually, Dorian had told him off for doing that, so now John had to pretend that he wasn’t staring, whilst eating his lunch.

Dorian looked up as John got closer and smiled. John sat down and Dorian leaned across and kissed him gently on the lips. “Hey, John,” he said softly, letting his palm linger on John’s cheek.

“Hey, yourself. How was your class?”

“It was good, I’ve finally caught up with the assignments so it felt a bit more... relaxed is definitely not the word for that creative writing class, but... a little less worrying?”

John nodded and felt his heart rate picking up as he shifted and touched his hand to the little bag in his pocket.

“How was your morning? You look... clean,” Dorian told him with a smirk.

John had brought a spare set of clothes to work that morning, wanting, even if just this once, to be smart for Dorian. “Yeah, it was fairly calm, the kids were maybe a little tired after the weekend, you know?”

He had been far too close to a huge spillage of gloopy glue mixed with sand that they had been using to recreate a pyramid for Egyptian week. John had left Rudy in charge of clearing it up.

Dorian kissed him again and when they parted John breathed out a sigh. He could do this. He pushed off the bench and put one knee to the ground, watching Dorian’s face carefully as he did so. Dorian closed his book with a snap and his eyes went wide.

“I have something for you.” He pulled out the small velvet bag and whispered shakily, “Hold your hand out?” Dorian did so and John put a hand under his to steady them both. He tipped the bag up and the ring he had chosen slipped out to land on Dorian’s palm. John picked it up and held it out, wrapping his other fingers around Dorian’s hand and holding on tight. “Dorian, will you marry me?”

“Me?” Dorian asked, and John pulled their joined hands up to his lips, kissing Dorian’s fingers.

“You,” he confirmed.

Dorian blinked at him and for a moment John stopped breathing, thinking he was surely going to be rejected.

But then Dorian broke into a wide grin. “Of course I will, John, of course I’ll marry you.”

John heard the words as if from a distance, he couldn’t believe he had asked and he couldn’t believe Dorian had said yes. He finally smiled and separated their hands for a moment to find Dorian’s ring finger then he eased the ring on carefully. “Looks great,” he murmured. He looked back into Dorian’s face and they reached for each other, Dorian pulled him back up onto their bench and wrapped him up in a warm hug. John closed his eyes and held his man in his arms, feeling the beat of both their hearts as their chests pressed together. Words would come later.


End file.
